Confession Confusion
by hikarijade13
Summary: Erza finally confesses her feelings to Jellal but his confusing reaction is not what she expected. Are these childhood friends really going to graduate high school not even talking to one another? AU
1. Dutch Courage

_A/N: I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter One – Dutch Courage_

"Are you sure about this Lucy?" I asked.

"Yes. I'm telling you Erza, this will work. Trust me. I've got a boyfriend remember," was Lucy's confident reply.

"Which you got after kissing him senseless on New Year's Eve after downing an entire bottle of vodka amongst several other alcoholic drinks," our brunette friend added.

"I don't want to hear any comments about alcohol from _you, _Cana," Lucy replied.

"Just saying. Even you needed some Dutch courage to get Natsu," Cana took an easy swig from a bottle. I don't know how she got away with drinking on school property but she managed it.

"Exactly. Confessing is never easy. In any case, you've never done it sober or otherwise so just shut up."

"Umm, aren't you guys supposed to be helping me?" I interrupted before it could turn into an argument.

"Sorry, Erza. Do you want a drink?"

I felt my patience draw thin, "Actually, Lucy is right. Shut up, Cana."

"Fine. I'll shut up!" She was sulking now but I had bigger worries.

"Are you sure you don't want me to read the letter before you give it to him?" Lucy asked me earnestly. I felt a flutter of panic.

"What? Ah, no thanks. It's too embarrassing." It really was. Just thinking about what I'd written in my confession letter made me blush. We were standing behind one of the columns that supported the arched roof of the outdoor path that ran between the main school building and the gym. It was really convenient when trying to get between the two buildings in the rain. It was also a good place for watching what was happening on the playing fields without being seen. "He's there. What do I do?"

"Calm down. Now just walk over and hand it to him okay," Lucy placed a hand on my arm. She was so steady and calm. A complete role reversal for how our friendship normally was.

"I feel like some bad manga character. He's going to reject it for sure. That's how it always goes."

"He won't reject you. You're a beautiful, intelligent, young woman with loads of good qualities. All of which he knows since you've been best friends since forever."

"Yeah, best friends, not a couple," I could hardly imagine what it would be like. How we were now, only ten, no, a million times better?

"Well, you have to start somewhere. Natsu and I used to be just friends and now look at us. Do you want to take your relationship to the next level or not?"

Did I? Yes. Unequivocally yes. "Okay. I'm going."

…

"To get there will require some movement on your part. Left foot, right foot. Repeat. In case you were unsure how it works," Cana said when I didn't move.

"Your sarcasm is not helpful Cana but… I think I will have that drink."

"That's my girl!" She thrust the bottle at me.

"Damn. What is this?" I nearly choked as the strong liquor slid down my throat.

"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. It's liquid courage. Now go get your man!"

* * *

"Hey Jellal…"

I'd just stuck my head under the water faucet outside the gym but I didn't need to look up to recognise the voice. Standing up, I shook the water from hair and reached for my towel to dry my face. "Hey, Erza. What's up?"

"Not much. How was practice today?"

"It was good. Are you okay? You sound kind of funny," I gave her a good once over. She looked a little flushed. "You're not feeling sick right? I can walk you home if you just wait a bit."

"Uh no! I'm fine. I'm going out with Lucy and Cana. I just wanted to… umm…"

Awkward Erza. That wasn't something I could remember seeing much in all the time I'd known her. Which was saying something considering I'd known her since we were seven. Ten years. Through all the crazy ups and downs we were still best friends. It would be great to say I knew everything about her but that would be a lie. She was a woman. And women, as everyone knows, are ridiculously complicated. I think I'd been fourteen when I gave up trying to understand her and decided to just go with it. Even so, this was new. I waited a few moment to see if she would say anything but she didn't and the silence stretched on till I had no choice but to try and fill it.

"Is this about the student council work?"

"What? Oh yeah. I think maybe we should get everyone together next week for an extra meeting. Graduation and prom are coming up fast. We have to make sure we have everything ready."

I reached out and gently brushed her hair behind one ear so I could see her chocolate brown eyes. "Don't worry about it Erza. You've thought of everything. Prom will be amazing and graduation will go smoothly. You're the very best student council president. Plus you've got me and everyone else to support you so don't stress."

Her face flared up instantly. She really didn't know how to take a compliment.

"I wasn't really stressing. Anyway that wasn't… I mean, thanks. Have a good weekend," she made to leave.

Evasive. Something else was going on. I grabbed her arm, "Can't we hang out? It's Friday. Let's go somewhere."

"Together?"

"What? Obviously. Lucy, Natsu, Gajeel, the whole gang. Let's mix it up." Was it my imagination or did her face fall just a little bit?

"It's okay. I'm already going out with Lucy and Cana remember?"

"Ah. Some girly thing. Got it. See you tomorrow at the dojo?"

"Maybe. I'll probably sleepover at Lucy's or Cana's so…"

"Alright. I'll let sensei know. Have a good time and relax alright." Impulsively, I pulled her into a tight hug. For a moment she was stiff then she relaxed into my grip and hugged me back. She felt good and right in my arms. Everyone thought we were going out or at least having casual sex but really we were just comfortable around each other in a nice friends-since-forever kind of way. Anyway even if I wanted that, which I didn't, Erza wasn't the kind of girl for a casual hook up.

"You smell good," I murmured in her ear and she jerked back like I'd burned her. Whoa, good feeling gone. Before I could think of anything to say she whirled around and stalked off. Women. Don't try and understand, just go with it.

* * *

"He hugged you! That means yes right? You're going out now, right? Ne, Erza? Oh my god, please don't cry!" Lucy immediately embraced me.

"I'm not crying. There just something in my eye," not even Cana dared contradict me.

"He can't have said no. What happened?" Cana asked as Lucy rubbed my back.

"I couldn't ask him."

"Nani?" Both of them just stared at me.

I stepped out of Lucy's embrace and started pacing, "I couldn't do it okay! He was just looking at me with his beautiful eyes… He thought I was red because I was coming down with a cold or something. He doesn't see me romantically at all!"

"For fucks sake. Give me the damn letter," Cana snatched the offending envelope from me and strode off.

"Ah, Cana! What are you doing?" I hastened after her, Lucy trailing in our wake.

"What you don't have the guts to do. I, on the other hand, have Dutch courage down to a fine art."

…

"I can't believe you just did that," I said.

We were standing in the hallway on the third floor of the main building, not far from our homeroom.

"It's in his locker now. Safely locked away. You can't get it back," Cana cheerfully rattled Jellal's lock.

"How can you be so smug? You've just ruined everything. I'll wait here and take it back before he can read it." Panic was welling up inside me yet again.

"I'm siding with Cana on this one. It's done now. He'll have to come get his books once he's finished changing. Less than an hour from now he'll know exactly how you feel. Isn't this a good thing?" Lucy pulled me into a one arm embrace.

"I'm not ready!"

"You know, you're not like this in any other part of your life. Where is brave, fearless, kickass Erza?" Cana asked.

"She's about to kick your ass unless we get that damn letter back. I wrote such utter rubbish!"

"Erza, love is about putting yourself out there. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll only regret it more if you don't at least try."

"Wow Cana, that was pretty deep for you," Lucy looked impressed.

"Thanks. Now I say let's go back to my house. My father is away, as usual, so we can drink wine, order pizza and watch some girly chick flick while we wait for Jellal to call," Cana waved her bottle at us and started sauntering down the hall.

"You think he'll call me?" I asked, feeling hopeful.

Cana looked back over her shoulder, "Oh honey, he'd be an idiot not to."


	2. The Status Quo

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading. I hope you continue to enjoy CC. _

_For those who might not know - Sun Tzu is a renowned historical Chinese military general credited as the author of _The Art of War, _a book on military strategy, that is widely regarded as a masterpiece. Also, persona non grata is Latin for "an unwelcome person". _

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Two – The Status Quo_

"Jellal, you're a fucking idiot."

"Good morning to you too, Natsu. What gives?" I was already in a foul mood. I'd shown up outside the girls' dorm, like usual, to walk Erza to school only to be told she'd already left. That never happened. Ever. Now she was nowhere to be found, one of my other friends was yelling at me and it wasn't even 8.30. Great start to a Monday.

"Whatever you did. Just apologize. No matter what it was. Even if it was nothing. Just get on your knees, admit you were wrong and beg for forgiveness."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about my girlfriend spending all weekend at Cana's house. You know what that means? It means she wasn't in bed with me. All weekend. That's three days. Three long sex free days."

"Dude, your sex life has nothing to do with me."

"Okay. I'll be nice and cut it down to two days because I knew she was doing some girly crap on Friday night. Which turned into a whole weekend affair because of you!" Natsu jabbed his finger into my chest to make his point. Whatever that point was.

I sighed and pushed his hand off me. "What happened?"

"I don't know man. I rang her on Friday night and they –that's Lucy, Cana and Erza- were all excited and giggly. I ring her on Saturday and Lucy is all like 'Ah no. I have to stay here and you can tell your stupid friend he's a jerk' and hangs up on me."

"And I'm the stupid friend?"

"Yeah. I asked Gajeel and Levy totally ditched him on Saturday to go to Cana's house and get this, she took a DVD with her. The Notebook. The fucking Notebook."

I blanched. This was serious. "Ice cream?"

"According to Lucy, six tubs of Ben and Jerry's."

"Fuck." I let my head smack onto the top of my desk. "I swear I haven't done anything. Maybe it was Gray?" I asked hopefully.

"Not me, man. I spent all weekend banging this awesome girl from Mermaid Heel. Seriously, chicks from all girl schools are the best," Gray slid into the seat in front of mine, looking disgustingly happy.

I sent him a withering glare, "Not helping. What did I do?"

"Doesn't matter. You fucked up the status quo. Only one thing to do. On knees. Begging. Immediately. Or Lucy will never sleep with me again because I'm guilty by association," Natsu said.

I thought he was being overdramatic but didn't comment. "I'll ask Erza. She'll tell me who I pissed off and what I need to buy to make it better."

"No good. From what I hear, its Erza you pissed off," Gajeel strolled into the classroom, chucked his jacket over his seat in the corner of the room before making his way back to the rest of us.

"Seriously? But I haven't even spoken to her since Friday."

"Did you say you would call her then not?" asked Gray, "Bitches hate that shit."

"No and for the record, your attitude towards women is horrendous," I said but Gray only shrugged.

"Did you have a fight with her?" Gajeel asked.

"No. Everything was fine. But-"

"But what?" Natsu prodded.

"She was a bit off."

"You pissed her off," they all said, practically in unison.

"I asked if she was okay-"

"The answer to that will always be 'fine' even if she had the worst day ever. Natsu is right. You need to go beg," Gajeel concluded and the others nodded.

"I will. As soon as I find her. Where are the girls anyway? It's nearly time for homeroom."

We all looked towards the door but none of them appeared. So I settled down to wait.

* * *

"I can't face him."

"Yes, you can and you'll do it with us," Lucy stepped back and then waved the brush over my hair one last time. "And you'll look damn good too."

I sighed. I didn't care about that. "I'm such a fool. Of course he isn't interested in me. We're childhood friends. He probably thinks of me as a sister."

"Be that as it may, only a complete jerk wouldn't at least give you a proper response," Lucy said and the other girls nodded.

Reflected in the bathroom mirror were all my amazing friends who'd abandoned their plans and ditched their boyfriends at a moment's notice to spend the weekend with me. Moaning about stupid men, eating way more ice cream than was strictly necessary and crying over The Notebook, especially the part about the letters. They'd kept me from going crazy waiting for the call or text that never came. Lucy had even invited me round dead early this morning to do my hair for me. It fell in soft, loose curls around my shoulders. I had to admit it looked pretty good.

The warning bell sounded. 8.25. Only five minutes till homeroom started and we'd probably be marked as late but I couldn't stand the thought of things being awkward between Jellal and me. After what I'd written in that letter it would be incredibly hard for things not to be awkward. One particular line came to mind and I felt like punching myself. How could I have told him that?

"I can't!" I wailed and instantly my friends were comforting me.

"You have to walk in there, with your head held high and act like it doesn't matter," Levy said.

"Just blank him because you're a bad bitch and if he can't see that, well it's his loss, not yours. Now stop crying. I didn't lend you my Prada eyeliner for you to blubber it off," Cana handed me a tissue.

"I'm not crying," I said automatically, grabbing my bag off the counter. After they'd been so good to me I could hardly repay them by landing us all in detention for tardiness. And I was student council president. I had an example to set. "Let's go do this."

* * *

8.34am and Scorpio-sensei had just got the class to settle down. "We seem to be missing a few students this morning," he was saying. Almost as if that was their cue, the girls swept into the room. Every single one of them shooting daggers in my direction. With the exception of Erza who blatantly avoided any eye contact. Shit, I really had done something.

"How nice of you to join us, ladies. Can we try to be on time? You're all final year students-"

And Scorpio-sensei was off on his typical 'You need to be prepared to become adults and productive members of society' rant.

I tuned him out and watched Erza from the corner of my eye as she settled into her assigned seat. We sat next to each other in homeroom. And English and Math and every other subject we had together. We were lab partners. She was student council president and I was vice. We trained at the same dojo. In short, my life was going to be hell if I didn't figure out what I'd done wrong and make it better fast.

First things first. I needed to divide and conquer. The girls together were an unstoppable force of nature. All that oestrogen and girl power stuff. The moment one of them was hurt they closed ranks better than any army. Sun Tzu himself would have had problems with them. If I had any chance of fixing this without having my balls ripped off and with some shred of self-respect left at the end, I would have to get Erza alone. I sent desperate looks at my friends who returned subtle nods. Scorpio-sensei moved on to taking attendance, then giving out announcements before the bell sounded. The signal for the start of the war.

Gajeel corned Levy effortless, offering to carry her books to the next class which was, thankfully, not the same one Erza and I had. Natsu had his puppy eyes on, complaining that Lucy had ignored him all weekend and he was lonely. Lucy practically melted. But it was like Cana read my mind or something. Levy and Lucy could be distracted for a bit by their boyfriends. No such luck with Cana. She was sat on the edge of Erza's desk within seconds. Giving me the look of death. "You got something to say?" it was less of a question and more of a threat.

"You're hair looks pretty like that," I said and was immensely relieved when Erza blushed. That I could still knock her out with a compliment had to be a good sign. We got up at the same time and I intentionally bumped arms with her. Used the opportunity to lean in close and whisper, "I really need to talk to you."

"Umm okay," she said and we left the classroom, shoulder to shoulder. I could feel Cana's eyes burning into my back but she hung back, giving us some space. I wasn't quite _persona non grata _yet. At the end of the corridor Erza went to go down the stairs but I placed my hand on the small of her back and guided her into the student council room. Shut the door on Cana and the rest of the school body. Nearly sighed out loud.

"Well what?" she said, crossing her arms. I was getting that weird, awkward feeling from her again. She still wasn't looking at me.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out, "On Friday I was being an idiot. I can't believe I didn't say anything then."

Her expression softened, just a small upturn of her lips but it was enough to give me hope that I was on the right track. She uncrossed her arms and played with the bottom edge of her pleated grey skirt, "So, what did you want to say?"

"I think it's great." Her whole face lit up. I closed the distance between us and took some of her soft hair between my fingers. "I probably didn't notice because you had it pulled up into a ponytail that day but really your hair looks amazing."

I swear the temperature in the room dropped thirty degrees. Crap. Was I wrong about the new hairstyle thing?

"You think this is about my hair?" Her voice was soft. Immediately, my danger meter started going crazy but I weighed up the options and decided not to upset the status quo any further. She was going to hit me. And me? Well hell, I was going to let her.


	3. Choose A Label

_A/N: Thanks for reading & I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Three – Choose A Label_

"And then I punched him. Repeatedly," I said and watched Mira's mouth fall open.

"And then what?" There was a little bit of lag so her mouth moved on the webcam before we heard what she said over the speakers.

"I've been ignoring him. If he isn't interested in me that way, then fine, but at least tell me properly. I'm a big girl. I can take it."

"So, it's been what? Three days?"

"And he is still acting like he doesn't know why she's mad. Can you believe it?" Cana leaned over my shoulder so Mira would know who was talking. "He keeps writing stupid little notes like _'Is it this?'_ Baka!"

"I always thought you and Jellal would make a cute couple," Mira pouted.

"It's okay, sempai. Not all of your love predictions can come true. I mean two out of three isn't bad. You were spot on for Lucy and Levy," I said.

"Ah!" Mira clapped her hands together. "I have the perfect idea. On Saturday night all of you should come visit me!"

"At your college? Seriously sempai? That'd be so awesome!"

"We're throwing a cross-dorm pool party. There will be music and dancing and food and beer and guys! College guys! Trust me. The gap between a high school boy and a college guy is immense. I'll hook you both up with somebody."

"I can't. My father is supposedly coming home on Friday. We need to do some father-daughter bonding shit. And Erza is still a virgin. She doesn't hook up."

"I could if I wanted to!" I said, feeling my face flame. "It's not like there's any point saving myself any more."

There was a brief silence. "Shit, Erza. I'm sorry. I didn't think before I said that," Cana finally said. "Were you really waiting for him…?"

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" I turned back to the webcam, "I'm so in. Find me a decent guy, Mira."

"Hmmm. Actually, I think I've just had a better idea. This is what we're going to do…"

* * *

"Are you and Erza going to be alright tonight?"

Elfman's eyes found mine in the rear-view mirror. We were on our way to pick up the girls from Lucy's apartment and he was driving. Lisanna had shotgun, a load of presents for Mira on her lap, a case of beer at her feet. Gajeel, Natsu and I sat in the back. The girls would have to sit on our laps. Not strictly legal and we'd be toast if we got in an accident, but with insurance prices what they were hardly any of us had our own cars. I shrugged, "She'll ignore me and I'll try to stay out of her way. It will be fine."

I didn't feel nearly as nonchalant as I sounded. The last week had been hell. I still had no clue what I'd done to make Erza hate me so much. Why couldn't girls just tell a guy what he fucked up? All this guessing was doing my head in. I was thinking about it, about her, constantly. I missed her. Badly. I knew we usually spent a lot of time together but I had no idea how much it would hurt not to have her around. It was like having a knife in my stomach and every time she ignored me she twisted the ice cold blade a little deeper. I really wanted us to be friends again but that was seeming less and less likely. Lost in my thoughts I couldn't follow the conversation. The next thing I knew the car had stopped and Elfman was tooting the horn.

First out the door was Levy. She looked cute in those wedge sandal things and a pale green sundress. Next was Lucy. Flip flops, a short blue skirt and that strapless pink top. I'd seen her wear the outfit before I think. Last was Erza and I was out the car before I even realised what I was doing. I grabbed her wrist and hauled her back inside the foyer of Lucy's apartment block. We were halfway up the stairs before she jerked me to a stop on the landing.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"What am I doing? What the fuck are you wearing?"

She'd painted her toenails, alternating red, white and blue. I knew because she had on these black ankle boots with the cut-outs so you could see her toes. From her ankles it was just one long, uninterrupted line of her legs until the tiniest pair of denim shorts I'd ever seen in my life. I pulled her towards me so she was flush against my chest and had a look over her shoulder. Sure enough, I could see the curve of her ass hanging out. She pushed away from me and I didn't even know where to look. Paired with the shorts she had her red bikini top on. Barely covering that was this flimsy excuse of a top. It was virtually see-through and ended a few inches above her belly button.

Now. I've known Erza for a long time. I've put my hands all over her in our sparring matches at the dojo. We've been swimming together before. I know what the hell she looks like. But I'd never seen her look like this. There was nothing left to the imagination. Nothing. She might as well have been going to the party naked. No, what she had on was quite possibly worse than naked. It was sexy as hell. Those college guys would eat her up.

"You can't go in that."

"Why the hell not? It's a pool party. I'm in my bikini."

"Erza, just no, okay. Any guy will take one look at you in this and want way more than you can give."

* * *

I could see it in his eyes. He wanted me. All this time he'd been looking at me but now, only now, did he finally see. And he loved it. Didn't want anyone else to see me like this. I felt a rush of power. I could do this. Just like Mira had said, I could bring him to his knees. Make him beg if I wanted to. The cards were down and I'd won the first hand but everyone knew it was best of three that mattered. Time for part two.

"Don't act like you know me. I can give whatever I want to whoever I want." I watched his expression harden and his grip on my wrist tightened.

"No, Erza. I do know you and you can't. Believe me, you can't," He looked around and realised we were putting on a show for Lucy, her landlady and anyone else within a mile radius. "Lucy, throw me your keys. We'll be just a minute."

As per the plan Lucy didn't even bat an eye and sent her keys sailing up. He caught them easily and pulled me back up to the apartment. He dragged me inside, then backed me up against the door. His hands either side of my face, pining me where I was. For a passing moment I wondered if he would kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me.

He didn't.

"Why are you doing this? You must know what will happen if you go to a party dressed like that." He dropped his voice and leaned closer to me. "You're still a virgin right?" His eyes on mine were so intense I nearly gave in but sempai had told me exactly what do, told me the exact lines to say.

"For now, but maybe I don't want to be anymore," I watched the shock reverberate through him. _Yeah that's right _I thought, _if you don't want it someone else will take it._

"You're too damn innocent Erza. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm seventeen Jellal! Last time I checked if I felt like having sex I didn't need your or anyone's permission."

* * *

It was like she'd slapped me in the face. She was right though. How was it any of my business who she lost her virginity to? I hadn't asked her permission when I lost mine. But, the very idea of some guy looking at her in these clothes or god forbid getting her out of them infuriated me. Even worse, I had no idea why. The reaction had come from some primal part of me I hadn't even known existed.

Forget the 'why' I needed to deal with the main issue right now. I slammed my palm against the door, "I said no. Now change your damn clothes."

She didn't so much as flinch. "Jellal, there are only three people I will accept telling me how to dress and even then within certain limits. My father, my brother and my boyfriend. Now unless you're willing to choose one of those labels you need to step back because you've got nothing on me."

I obviously wasn't her father. I couldn't claim to be a brother because when I'd said _'any guy will take one look at you in this and want way more than you can give' _I'd been including myself. I wanted, I…, _Zeref help me_.There weren't even words for how I felt about what she was wearing. It definitely wasn't brotherly though. That left boyfriend but I wasn't that either. I'd never felt that way about Erza. Thinking about it, she'd always been in this weird no man's land. She was closer than a friend but not a girlfriend. I'd never thought of her as a sister either. She'd always just been my best friend. We had an easy familiarity with each other that made people think we were lovers when really it came down to us having spent an inordinate amount of time together. I couldn't put a label on what I was to her. To even try would be impossible. So I took the only option left. I stepped back.

* * *

I hadn't realised I'd been holding my breath until he stepped away from me. Disappointment slammed into me in time to the air rushing out of my lungs into the new found space between us. He hadn't taken the bait. Mira-sempai had said he probably wouldn't but it still hurt like hell. I looked down at my feet. My freshly painted toes making an appearance in the peep-toe boots I'd dragged out of the dark recess of Cana's closet back when the idea of seducing Jellal had been novel and fun. There was some line I was supposed to say now but the words got caught around the lump in my throat. _Why didn't he want me?_

"Here," he said and I felt a sudden warmth. He was pushing his varsity jacket into my arms. "I'm not your father, your brother or your boyfriend but I care about you as much as any of them ever will. So please wear this and think seriously about what it is you really want."

I slipped the jacket on. It was so big on me that it covered my whole outfit. Anybody who saw me would without a doubt think I was wearing my boyfriend's jacket. It was the sweetest, nicest thing ever. My disappointment melted away and the words in my confession letter came back to me, this time minus the familiar twinge of pain. Jellal cared about me. Even if it wasn't the exact emotion I wanted from him, it had to mean something.

"Let's go," he said. All I could do was nod. Part two, not as fantastic as part one, but an adequate result. I hoped Jellal was prepared because I'd already seriously thought about what I wanted and part three would make sure I got it.


	4. The Friend Zone

_A/N: A **big** thank you for everyone who reviewed, followed or made this story a favourite. It means a lot to me. _

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Four – The Friend Zone_

We'd previously decided that, when we picked up the girls, Lisanna would sit on my lap. It was obvious that Levy and Lucy would sit with their boyfriends. Prior to this week I wouldn't have had an issue sharing my personal space with Erza but with the way she was being… It just wasn't an option. Apparently, that plan was out the window. When Erza and I returned to the car. Lisanna was still in the front seat. I only hesitated for a millisecond then opened the back door, got in and pulled Erza down after me.

"Alright, let's go." Elfman started the car and the girls immediately fell into talking about this and that. I could feel Gajeel and Natsu giving me looks behind their girlfriends' backs but I couldn't even look at them. I'd completely overreacted and now I was starting to feel like an idiot. Erza wasn't mine to protect. She wasn't mine to do anything with.

We went over a speed bump and Erza's head bounced against the roof of the car. I didn't even think about what I did next.

* * *

Jellal's arms came around me and pulled me back against his chest. His chin ended up over my shoulder. "Lie back, then you won't hit your head," he said into my ear. I shifted around on his lap, settling into our new position. His left arm was heavy around my waist and his right hand rested on my knee. Lucy and Levy were shooting love hearts at me with their eyes and I couldn't help but smile. It felt so good. I relaxed into his hold. Things were definitely looking up. I would have to remember to buy Mira-sempai a thank you gift.

* * *

Elfman turned up the music and for a while it was like the old times. A bunch of friends cruising to a party. Except the weirdest thing was going on with me. For starters I couldn't stop thinking Erza smelled ridiculously good. I was sure that it was the same scent she always wore. Even so, I found myself taking these deep breaths, like I would suffocate without her. Damn. She'd been avoiding me too long. I had missed her. That's all. Unfortunately that didn't explain my sudden inability to keep my hands from wandering. Circles, figure eights, random patterns traced by my fingers on the smooth skin of her thighs. Tapping out the beat to a song on her perfectly flat stomach. I tickled her and she let out this high pitched squeal that had everyone staring at us.

"It was Jellal," she protested.

I put on my best innocent face and shrugged, "I haven't done anything." I was so happy to be back on good terms with Erza. It was making me act like a madman.

"Can we stop somewhere? I feel like stretching," said Lucy and ten minutes later we were at a service station.

* * *

"Stop thinking about it. You're turning red," Levy said.

"I can't help it. I love Mira-sempai!" I splashed some water from the bathroom sink onto my burning cheeks.

"Got to admit it. Nee-san nailed this one. Where did you find those shorts?" Lisanna asked.

"I already had them. I used some scissors to sex them up."

"It's not the shorts. It's what's in them or should I say what's barely covered by them." Lucy came up behind me and threw her arms around my waist. "Our Erza-chan is one sexy bitch. Did you see his face?"

We burst into a fresh round of laughter. I twirled out of Lucy's grasp and pulled on the edges of Jellal's varsity jacket. "I'm so unbelievably happy. It's like he finally saw me. You know, _really_ saw me."

Lisanna smiled, a little forlornly, back at me. "You're such a cute couple. Now everyone has a boyfriend but me."

"Don't be silly. You're a year younger than us and there's lots of other single girls. Cana and Juvia to name a few and it's not like he's officially my boyfriend yet," I tried to cheer her up, even though I felt I might burst from my own happiness.

"Yeah but you've definitely moved out of the friend zone. He can't keep his hands off you."

"I know. Isn't it great?" Having Jellal notice me made me feel sexy and beautiful and confident.

"Tomorrow, you have to tell us _everything," _Lucy winked at me.

As far as I was concerned tomorrow could wait. Jellal would finally be mine and I wanted the moment to last forever. "I don't know about everything."

"Oh come on. I didn't spare any details about my first time. Even Levy spilled the beans," whined Lucy.

Levy blushed, "Only because you wouldn't stop nagging me about it. You're like a boy the way you want to compare notes. Does it really matter whose boyfriend is bigger?"

"There's nothing wrong with being curious," Lucy said with a toss of her blonde hair.

"How would you feel if Natsu told all the guys your bra size?"

"They probably already know. The guys talk about us like that all the time. I'm sure of it. It's only fair we return the favour."

"Maybe, but we really don't need to know. I think you traumatised me with that story about Natsu going down on you after the Cherry Blossom Festival."

"Don't pretend like Gajeel doesn't-"

"I think I'm too young for this conversation," Lisanna interrupted, putting her hands over her ears and we all laughed.

In truth I was glad Lucy was so open about those sorts of things. I mean, I read romance books that were a bit risqué but nothing compared to real life experience. I'd gathered from my friends that it would probably hurt but I wasn't afraid of a little pain. I was ready. Jellal might have only recently realised it but he'd never been in my friend zone. He was always going to be the one. I applied some more lip-gloss and did one more happy twirl. Tonight was going to be the best ever.

* * *

The moment the girls disappeared into the restroom Natsu punched me in the arm. "Jellal, you sly dog! You both denied it so much I almost believed you. No point denying it now. You two are fucking!"

I smacked the back of his head. "No, we're not. We made up. That's all."

"Make-up sex is the best sex," he rubbed the spot where I'd hit him and grinned at me.

"We're not having sex."

"Yet," added Gajeel.

"What?"

"You're not having sex _yet_. Is what you mean because you'd have to be deaf, blind and stupid not to realise that she wants you."

"No way. Erza and I are just friends." Okay, maybe the two of us were acting a little crazy but she wasn't going to suddenly fall for me because we messed around a little.

"Uh no. You and Lucy are friends. You and Levy are friends. You and half the girls in our grade are friends. There is nothing about spending the last forty-five minutes running your hands all over her bare thighs that will convince Erza or anyone else that the two of you are _just_ friends."

"Don't get it twisted. I'm not serious. I don't even know why I was doing that."

Gajeel gave me a look like I was stupid, "It's the shorts."

Natsu nodded and let out a low whistle, "I would never let Lucy out the house in those. They scream 'fuck me' in the worst or maybe best possible way depending on the situation."

"The situation?" I asked. Natsu sounded like he was on the verge of actually saying something sensible.

"Yeah. Worst if we had a fight and she's thinking about going out in those. Best if I come to her apartment and find her wearing them just for me. Thank god you gave Erza your jacket. Even I wouldn't have known where to look if she really wore those out. What'd you say to her anyway?"

"Nothing really, but I don't think she's mad at me anymore. That's all that matters." In hindsight, our conversation had been a bit weird. What was she thinking saying all those things?

"I guess but seriously, you're not tapping that?"

"Give it a rest Natsu. I said we're friends."

"Alright man, don't get all upset. I've never seen a guy try so hard to stay in the friend zone."

"I'm not trying anything. You've known Erza nearly as long as I have. You don't want her do you?"

"In those shorts? Who wouldn't?"

Who wouldn't indeed? But what about me? Did I want her? No. Yes. Well, in those shorts, maybe. What? Where'd that thought come from? I'd felt _something _when I first saw her in them… Still no. Then again why not? I'd never really thought about it, but Erza was kind of hot, I suppose. And bright and funny and could totally be kicking my ass one moment then be saying the most sweet, girly thing ever five minutes later. In short she was a solid ten, no doubt. But we'd been friends since forever. Was I over-thinking this? It didn't even matter. There was no way she would ever want me that way. I didn't want her that way. Right? I shook my head and said firmly, "I wouldn't. We're friends."

Natsu shrugged, "Whatever you say."

"That doesn't change the fact that she wants you," Gajeel had to add.

"Who made you the expert on women? Nothing will happen between Erza and I. Period."

There was a moment of tense silence as we stood around the car. They were sceptical. I was annoyed. Elfman came out of the store and with his usual inability to read the mood made things worse. "The girls are buying snacks. I have to say you are a true man amongst men, Jellal. How long have you been sleeping with Erza?"

* * *

The boy at the counter was checking me out when Jellal appeared behind me. He leaned onto me, his forehead on my shoulder, letting me take some of his weight. "What's wrong?" I said.

"Nothing. Those idiots are hassling me, that's all. We're best friends aren't we?"

"Forever," I replied with no hesitation. After the last week I think we both needed the confirmation. Even though he'd hurt me by ignoring my letter, I'd actually found it really hard to stay angry with him. If it hadn't been for Cana I would have caved after his first few cute apology notes that he passed during class or left stuck to my locker. And if it hadn't been for Mira I would have let our romantic relationship die before it even began. We'd always be best friends but we were on track to be so much more. "Here, try this."

* * *

I took a sip of the drink she offered me and tried not to give the cashier the evil eye. Erza had confirmed we were only friends so why was I staring him down like he was eyeing up my girl? I really needed to put a stop to this behaviour before even more people got the wrong idea. My hands found their way into the pockets of my varsity jacket. I squeezed her hips gently, "Make sure you keep this on."

"I will if you want me to."

"I want you to." She wasn't my girl and maybe I had no right to be so overprotective but I'd be damned if any guy got close to her tonight. I released my hold on her and led the way back to the car. Told myself to be good but as she settled onto my lap I knew I wouldn't be able to resist touching her. It was cool though. I would never be in her friend zone because that implied that I was romantically interested in her. And I wasn't. Really. I let my fingers roam over her silky soft skin. She obviously didn't mind and no matter what anyone else thought we were friends. Just friends…


	5. Fireworks

_A/N: As a warning, since the previous chapters have been pretty tame, this story is rated M and the story line from this particular chapter onward reflects that._

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Five – Fireworks_

"I'm so nervous."

"Have another drink. Whoa, just a sip! You want to be tipsy and brave, not drunk and sloppy," Mira took the half empty glass from me. "Don't be nervous. From what I've seen everything will be fine."

It was approaching midnight and outside the party was still in full swing. So far I'd been having a great time. I think we all were. Laxus had swept me up in a big hug the moment he saw me. Then he and Mira had introduced us to all of their new friends but none of them could hold my interest. I had missed Jellal so much. Just talking with him normally after a week of awkward silence was a huge relief. We'd spent the whole night together. Talking, swimming, sharing drinks, until Mira had pulled me away. I was sitting on the chair in her dorm room while she fussed over my make-up and finished blow drying my damp hair.

"This is my key." She handed me a plain white card, "Just swipe in downstairs and again at my door. You'll remember how to get here?"

I nodded. "Are you sure it's okay for us to use your bed?"

"Don't worry about it. Although it is my birthday next month. I accept chocolate, sparkly jewellery and cold hard cash."

I couldn't even laugh. My stomach was in knots.

"You don't have to do this if you're not ready Erza," Mira's blue eyes looked carefully into mine. Then she smiled, "But you are, aren't you?"

She was right, as usual. I wanted to be with Jellal tonight more than anything. No last minute nerves were going to change my mind. I stood up and slide the key card into the pocket of Jellal's jacket. Breathed deep.

"Here goes nothing."

* * *

The music was loud and the night was warm. People were dancing, drinking, talking. I sat on top of a wooden picnic table, a beer in one hand. I had no clue where my friends had gone but I was drunk enough not to worry about it. The only person in my head was Erza. She had disappeared somewhere with Mira, a promise to come back whispered hastily in my ear. So I sat and drank and waited and thought. About college.

This was the one that Erza wanted to come to. I had been split between here and one further away in Edolas. I could see us here though. Me and her. As inseparable as we'd been for most of our lives. I can't believe I'd ever considered going somewhere she wouldn't be. The last horrible week compared to this one perfect evening. It was time to face the truth. She was my greatest and best friend. Always and forever. I needed to be wherever she was to be happy.

It was like that thought summoned her because there she was in front of me. I reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. Not being able to do this? No way. I wouldn't be able to deal. And that feeling had nothing to do with her shorts. I wanted to tell her. Tell her I was sorry for upsetting her before. Tell her I wanted to go to the same college. Tell her that I'd never do anything stupid ever again but the music was too loud for a serious conversation. There was nothing quite like pouring your heart out only to have the person yell '_What? I can't hear you!_' So I took her hand and led her away from the party.

We rounded the corner of a building but she pulled me up short by the double doors. It didn't occur to me to question where she was taking me as we made our way up the stairs and along the hall. The door clicked open and I didn't have to wonder. This had to be Mira's room. The moonlight glinting off the framed picture of Mira and Lisanna both dressed as witches for Halloween last year confirmed it. I don't know why that was what I noticed first. Alcohol was a funny thing. Maybe I'd had a few too many. I put the beer down on the table, kicked my shoes off and took a seat on Mira's bed.

* * *

I took a deep breath and made sure the door locked behind us. The last thing I wanted was to be interrupted. When I turned around he was sitting on Mira's bed, waiting for me. I'd dropped some pretty heavy hints at Lucy's house but they'd been in the form of an argument, albeit an arbitrary and planned one. Time to let this outfit do some real work. I bent down and removed my boots. My footsteps were silent as I walked towards him. Not that I'd be able to hear anything over the racket my heart was making. It felt like it was about to thump right out of my chest. Standing in front of him I let my hands rest lightly on his shoulders. His hands traced their way up my thighs and under the jacket to land on my hips. Jellal looked up at me and smiled. My heart flip-flopped. I knew right then that I'd never feel this way about anyone else even if I lived forever. He looked like he was going to say something but I leaned down and brushed my lips against his.

Soft and brief. Hardly a kiss at all. Still, he was surprised. I could tell. He was about to be even more surprised. My right hand was shaking a little but I still managed to slide the zipper of his jacket down. Rolling my shoulders it slipped free from my body to pool at my feet. I grabbed the bottom edge of my crop top with both hands and pulled it smoothly off before I could change my mind. Felt his hands grip me tighter as the flimsy white fabric ghosted to the ground. This next bit was difficult but I'd been practicing. Crossing my right arm over my chest, I reached behind my neck with my left hand and undid the tie on my bikini top. Did the same with the bottom tie. Tugged gently so that the red fabric joined everything else on the floor. I was topless but my right arm kept most of me hidden from his view. In the quiet room my breathing sounded unnaturally loud. I felt beyond awkward. All my previous sexy confidence had faded away but this was the point of no return. I steeled my resolve, grabbed a fistful of his shirt to steady myself and climbed on his lap. Started softly kissing my way along his neck. I wasn't sure what to do after this but Mira said things would happen naturally and I trusted her. I trusted Jellal too. Sort of figured he'd take control from here.

* * *

Holy shit. Erza. Topless. Kissing me. I was sure that there was something I had wanted to tell her but fuck if I knew what it had been. My hands slipped from her hips up over her bare back. To feel this way about my best friend had to be wrong. I tried to organize the chaos in my mind into a coherent thought. "Erza, I-" She sucked gently on my neck and that was it. My brain just stopped working.

I grabbed her chin and brought her lips up to mine. A proper kiss this time, my tongue tangling with hers. She tasted like vodka and peach schnapps. For a long moment the kiss spiraled on, setting my blood on fire. Desire, raw and dangerous, rushed through me. The feeling was all the more potent for the fact that it felt like I'd taken a bite of a forbidden fruit. If this was a sin I'd gladly fall into hell with the taste of her on my lips.

The arm across her chest was an unwelcome barrier between me and her soft curves. I needed to see, to touch, to taste every inch of her. I pulled her down with me, then rolled us over so I was on top of her. Grabbed her hands and pulled her arms up over her head in one smooth movement.

* * *

He held me, pinned to the bed, whilst he took his time looking at me. My whole face was burning up but that was nothing compared to the molten heat his gaze ignited in my belly. Never before had I felt anything quite like it. Lust for him battled with my own self-consciousness. I was so exposed, my pale skin luminous in the moonlight that flooded the room through the partially opened curtains and still he just looked. I tensed my arms, wanting to cover myself, but his fingers intertwined with mine, encouraging me to stay still. The moonlight played across his face. I wondered what he was thinking.

* * *

I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. It was a weird thought. I'd always known, somewhere in the back of my mind, that Erza was a dime but maybe I'd never really taken the time to look at her properly before today. I was getting a good look now and loving what I saw. She had an amazing body, all smooth lines and generous curves. Really generous curves. I stared at her exposed breasts. Fuck. Had she always had those? I longed to touch her, explore every inch of her from the fantastic dip above her her collarbone, over the swell of her chest, past her toned abs right on down to places still hidden by those damn shorts.

I leaned down and kissed her again. Gently this time, wanting to savour the way she tasted, how her lips felt against mine. Kissing my way down her neck, I returned the favour and sucked gently. I could feel her pulse racing a mile a minute. Easing my way down her body I left feather light kisses along her collarbone and the smooth expanse of skin on the upper part of her chest. Felt her tremble. I pulled away from her, still not believing we were doing this. She was flushed, eyes wide, lips slightly parted, taking these shallow little breaths. Waiting and willing for me to do whatever I liked with her. I ran the back of my hands down her arms, across her sides, right down to her waist in a gentle caress. Laid my palms flat on her stomach and hesitated. "Is this what you want?" Her small nod was all the encouragement I needed. I swept my hands upwards. Cupped her breasts in my hands. They were so soft and full.

I wanted her then. Wanted her more than I'd ever wanted any girl before.

* * *

Jellal's hands were warm on my skin. He squeezed gently and I couldn't help arching upwards into his grasp. His fingers tugged, rubbed and teased. I grabbed handfuls of the sheets, a secure hold in the sea of new sensations I was battling. One part of me desperately wanted to touch him but another part of me was still unsure. _Was it supposed to be like this?_ He took one nipple in his mouth and the feeling was unbelievable, nearly overwhelming. Warm and wet, his tongue traced a slow circle that left me gasping for air. Caught up in the moment I completely forgot about being nervous. I wanted him so much. Wanted him to touch me, kiss me, make love to me right here, right now.

Outside there was a loud bang. We both jumped. Seconds later the view outside the window filled with bursts of colour. Fireworks. It felt like they were going off just for me. A celebration. Part three of the little game that had started with a simple seduction plan was ending in a total victory for me. For us. Mirajane had been right. I'd probably surprised him with the letter. He simply needed a little push to stop seeing me as only a friend. A push in the form of tiny denim shorts. Shorts, I had no doubt he'd be pulling off me any minute now. I smiled up at the boy I loved. Had loved for years now. Everything was beautiful and perfect and right.

Hungry for another kiss, I linked my fingers behind his neck and pulled him down towards me. Or tried to.

* * *

The sound of the fireworks going off jolted me back to reality. I was drunk, but not that drunk, and she was definitely drunk to be looking at me like that. And we were about to make the biggest mistake ever.

"Shit." I disentangled myself from her arms and scrambled about on the floor for her clothes. My hands found my varsity jacket and I threw it over her. "Please put that on." My voice sounded ragged.

She sat up and put her arms in the sleeves but left it hanging open. The view did nothing to calm the heat raging through me. My body ached with desire. How the fuck could I want her so much? This was _Erza_. I needed to get away from her. Put some space between us. Remember that earlier today I'd sworn down that something like this would never happen between us.

"We can't do this," I groped around in the semi-darkness and managed to jam my shoes on. I was sobering up fast and uncharacteristically desperate to get away from a beautiful topless girl. This had to be a first. Then again, Erza was no ordinary girl.

* * *

"Why?" It had been going so well and now he was totally freaking out. I slide off the bed, nearly tripping in my haste to catch up to him as he headed for the door and grabbed his arm. "What's wrong Jellal?"

"You're my best friend Erza. I can't let you do this."

He wasn't even looking at me. His gaze was directed somewhere over my head. I felt panicked. No one had told me what to do if this happened. "What do you mean? I want to do this."

"Not like this. Look, I get it okay. You're frustrated. That doesn't mean it's alright to lose your virginity to some random guy. I think-"

I didn't care what he thought. I stopped listening. It had taken every ounce of bravery I possessed to lead him here and make the first move. I was standing right in front of him, half naked, offering him everything. My body right now and my heart too, for as long as he wanted to keep it. And he didn't want me. I felt my self-esteem plummet to an all-time low.

* * *

I was blabbering. All this bullshit coming out of my mouth to hide the fact that I had no fucking clue what was going on. As far as I knew Erza didn't even like anyone. Is that why she'd picked me to be the one she came on to? Why me? Fucking hell, I could not deal with this shit. When I told her at Lucy's house to think about what she really wanted I'd meant find a guy she loved instead of showing up at a party with her ass hanging out. Didn't she know what she was doing to me?

Seriously, I couldn't even look at her. I focused instead on Mira's neat and colourful timetable pinned to the board over her desk. I knew exactly what I would see if I looked down. The beautiful curves of Erza's breasts peeking out from my varsity jacket, tempting me to finish what we'd started. I respected Erza but a man only had so much self-control. I wanted to throw her back down on the bed but that would only end one way. Badly. For her because she'd probably regret it, and for me because I knew I wouldn't regret it at all. In fact, I'd probably want to repeat the experience. Often. But she wasn't that kind of girl. A casual sexual relationship would never exist between us. She'd let me have her tonight because her hormones were going crazy or whatever and then think we could go back to being normal friends. That wasn't going to happen. How could I tell her that a onetime thing would never be enough without sounding like a complete jerk?

* * *

"Just tell me," I said, "I put everything in black and white for you. The least you can do is the same for me." I needed to hear him reject me outright or I'd never move on. Still, a part of me was hoping he would look me in the eye and say he loved me too.

"Erza, you're just not the type of girl I could ever do this with. I would want… something more."

I stood there, frozen. Not only was I not his 'type' but I wasn't good enough. I didn't even come close to his idea of acceptable girlfriend material. By ignoring my ill-fated letter he'd probably been hoping I'd take the hint and ease up. But no, I had to go and make an even bigger fool of myself. I dropped his arm and he backed away from me.

"I'm sorry. Don't be too disappointed."

I nodded but couldn't speak as he slipped out the door. Tumbling into Mira's bed, I lay there, feeling stupid. The fireworks sparkled outside, bright and cheerful like before, except instead of a celebration they seemed to mock my epic failure. I pulled the bed covers over my head to block them out. The fabric of Jellal's jacket grazed the sensitised skin on my chest. A slightly painful reminder that he had been here, that for a moment he'd been remotely interested in me. My fingers came to rest on my swollen lips. I could still taste him.

I told myself I wouldn't cry.

It was a lie.


	6. Space & Time

_A/N: Thanks to my awesome reviewers and to everyone who has continued to read this far. We are around about the halfway point. Please look forward to the rest!_

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Six – Space & Time_

"Morning, how are you today?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

There it was again. That word I'd slowly come to hate over the last month. '_Fine_'. It had become Erza's go to response about everything. But it was a lie. She wasn't fine. She wasn't anywhere close to fine. And I suspected it was my fault. Correction. I _knew _it was my fault.

The drive back from the party at Mira's college had been quiet. We were all tired and hung-over, some of us more than others. Erza had sat on my lap but I'd been careful to keep my hands to myself. Monday morning I'd shown up at the girls dorm and she'd been there, waiting for me, like we were back to being friends. But our conversation had been subdued, a little awkward. I figured it would be, at least for a while. She'd all but offered her virginity to me on a silver platter and I'd turned her down. That wasn't the kind of situation a friendship just bounced back from. A bit of space, a little time and we'd be back on track or so I thought.

That hadn't been the case. She spoke to me. We revised for our exams together. Sparred at the dojo. But something was off. She wasn't exactly depressed. I'd seen her smile and sometimes even laugh when she was with the girls. Around me though, it was like a black cloud loomed over our every interaction. At least for her. I was having a problem of a completely different kind.

I was dreaming about her. The kind of dreams I hadn't experienced since I was thirteen and my raging hormones had a crash collision with the serious crush I had on our pretty student teacher. I woke up every morning feeling like I would die from wanting her. It was that bad. I noticed every little thing she did. Ordinary things, like the way she tapped the end of her pen against her lips when she was trying to think, were suddenly incredibly erotic. The way she walked, hips swaying gently, had me hanging back slightly to watch the sweet curve of her ass whenever we went somewhere together. If she crossed her legs during class I was instantly distracted. I caught myself staring at her breasts, wanting to unbutton that white school shirt and find out what kind of lingerie she was wearing before ravaging her on the desk in the student council room. The way I felt I half expected sparks to fly every time she brushed up against me. It was the sweetest form of torture but a whole month of near constant hard ons was taking its toll. Some days I flat out avoided her just to give my body a rest. If we kept going like this I felt sure I was going to end up with some kind of injury. To my wrist at least, if nowhere else. Thing was, I'd ruined my one chance with her in the worse way possible. There was no way I was getting to hit that. There was no way I could. That friends with benefits shit only worked in the movies. All I could do was watch and dream and pray that space and time would work their magic on me too.

* * *

He was staring at me again. I pretend not to notice as we make our way to Magnolia Town Hall. The student council and a virtual army of volunteers were meeting up to decorate the place for prom. _Just a little more time _I couldn't help but think. Being around Jellal had become nearly unbearable. I don't even know how I made it through each day without bursting into tears. I mean, he'd seen me naked. Kissed me. Put his hands on my body. He'd even run his tongue over my... _Ugh. Don't think about it Erza, just don't._ Mortified didn't even begin to cover how I felt. Yet I still had to carry on like nothing had happened. Like we were normal friends. Like I hadn't completely humiliated myself. Like he wasn't staring at me as if I'd morphed into some kind of hideous monster. Thankfully, there were only two more weeks left before graduation. I could come up with some excuse for not seeing him too much over summer and then we'd be in college. Granted, the same college but studying different things. I hoped our schedules were incompatible. The more space between us the better.

* * *

We walked along the quiet, tree lined streets. It was early afternoon so it felt a bit weird. Our final exams were finished, leaving the graduating seniors with a kind of extended summer break. We had the odd club meetings, mostly to hand over the reins to the juniors, or last minute extracurriculars to attend for that little bit of extra credit but normal high school life was all but done for us. It was a little sad to be honest. One last summer together and then friends we'd known since we were children would disappear off to find their own way in the world. At least most of my close friends would be at the same college. Then again college seemed like the perfect place to get over my infatuation with Erza's body. Surely there would be loads of pretty girls there to help distract me. My eyes wandered over Erza's hourglass figure. Those college girls had a pretty tough act to follow.

I yanked myself away from those thoughts as a woman with a child in a pushchair came towards us. We automatically shifted to one side to let her by, our new path forcing us to pass between a large old oak tree that grew right out of the concrete and the wrought iron fence that separated the sidewalk from the neighboring houses. It was only a small gap so I let Erza go first but she stopped suddenly halfway. Her ass pressed against my groin as I walked right into her. Fuck. Did this girl have it in for me or what?

Evidently not, judging by the way she jumped away from me. My desire for her cooled nearly as quickly as it had appeared. Erza was always flinching away from me. We were miles away from the easy comfortableness we'd once shared. It sucked big time. What I wouldn't give to be able to touch her again, not even in a sexual way. Just normally like I used to. A simple hug, a casual motion to brush her hair out of her eyes, any of the little gestures of affection that were a hallmark of our friendship.

"Are you okay?" I asked when she didn't start walking again.

* * *

"No." I was trying extremely hard not to freak out. I could terrify probably every member of the student body without even trying but there was one thing I just couldn't deal with - spiders. I wasn't exactly scared. Fear was an emotion I'd learned to control years ago. I just had an extremely strong dislike of anything that fell within the category of a 'creepy crawly'. For me, spiders topped that list and I'd just walked straight into a one of their webs. I squeezed my eyes shut and stood very still.

"Jell, please get it off me." I hated the way my voice wavered. It was a testament of how well we knew each other that he didn't need to ask anymore questions.

* * *

The irony of this situation did not escape me. Here I was wishing to touch her and Mother Nature had stepped in with a perfect excuse. I spotted the spider immediately. This tiny little thing that was probably more afraid of Erza than she was of it. I flicked it off her, opened my mouth to tell her it was gone and had a change of heart. It was a terrible thing to take advantage of a woman but that was exactly what I was going to do. God could strike me down later.

"I'm gonna have a quick look for it and I'll take off the web too."

I started with her face. Light touches over her cheeks, her nose, her chin. Found a few strands of sticky web but really I was looking at her long eyelashes, admiring her pink lips. She was a beautiful girl. I was glad she didn't coat herself in makeup like so many other girls I knew. She didn't need it. My fingers moved into her hair, the scarlet locks slipping through my hands like silk. I loved her hair. Always had. Even more so now that she'd let it grow so long. I wondered how it would look fanned out on my pillows at home. Yet another pointless thought.

"Do you see it?" Her voice was tense and I felt a little guilty but I wasn't ready to stop.

"Hold on. I'm looking."

I allowed myself the luxury of firm, determined strokes along her neck, across her shoulders, up and down her arms. I wanted to pull her close and hold her but I figured that would be pushing it. Then again, this was the first time in weeks that she'd let me get this close to her. I ran my hands down her shoulder blades, and along the contours of her spine with enough pressure to force her up against my chest. I felt wicked but I'd missed being this way with her. At the small of her back I hesitated then thought _Fuck it_, and followed the curve of her ass, the back of her thighs till my hands ran out of skirt and met warm skin instead. I should have felt like lifting her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and making love to her against this oak tree. In broad daylight. In the middle of the street. Yeah, it was twisted but that's how I felt a lot of the time around Erza. Except that wasn't how I felt now. That feeling was definitely still there but I felt something else much more keenly. This bizarre desire to take care of her. Protect her. As if the great Titania needed it. I must be going crazy.

Hands back on the relatively safe territory of her shoulders, I reminded myself that we were in public and stepped back just enough to barely skim my hands over her breasts and waist. Made a big show of dusting down her skirt to make the whole process believable then announced, "It's gone."

* * *

I let out a soft sigh and reluctantly opened my eyes. For a moment there I'd felt something between us, something that shouldn't have been there. It was like... I don't know. Like he was feeling me up or something. What a stupid thought. Jellal had made it abundantly clear that he wasn't interested in me that way. Why was I torturing myself with these silly imaginations of things that would never be. Eyes open, I realized I was mere inches from Jellal's broad chest. He was standing so close to me. Too close. I had to tilt my head right back to look at him. I remember that summer when he'd shot up about four inches seemingly overnight. He'd been so awkward, all elbows and knees, constantly bumping into things. Just another memory of the years we'd spent together. I found the idea cute now. He'd changed a lot since then. Filled out into his height, exchanged awkwardness for confidence. His dark brown eyes gazed down at me. My heart rate went up straight away. I loved this boy so much. It was almost a physical pain in my chest. I blushed and mumbled an apology. Everything was always so awkward between us nowadays. Which was undoubtedly my fault. I needed to get a hold of myself.

"It's okay. Hey, can I try something?"

I raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"You seem kind of tense." He reached for me and I automatically took a step back. Jellal's hand stayed suspended in the air between us. An emotion I couldn't name flickered across his face. That had been happening a lot lately. I used to be able to tell exactly what he was thinking. I also used to let him touch me without a thought. Yeah, well, everything had changed.

"I just wanted to... Never mind. Forget it." He said and looked away from me. His hand dropped and formed a fist at his side. The moment of intimate closeness was gone.

I felt like kicking myself. There was no point in pretending everything was fine one moment then being all weird the next. _It's fine, it's fine_, I told myself over and over. But it wasn't. It really wasn't. But… it had to be. I tried to get my emotions under control and stuck a bright smile on my face.

"We'll be late if we don't hurry."

"Mmm," was all I heard from Jellal as he walked away from me. I trailed behind him, trying not to remember the last time I'd watched his back as he walked away. What we had before the events of that night had been perfect. Why did I have to go and fuck it all up?

* * *

She was completely in her element. Ordering everyone around. Pointing out locations for tables and lights and streamers. Of course the lower half of my body found bossy Erza extremely sexy despite all the weird tension between us. The temporary truce my body had enjoyed for those brief minutes under the oak tree was well and truly gone so I confined myself to a table to blow up balloons, at least until I calmed down a little. Natsu was across the table from me making an absolute mess of curling the silver and white ribbons.

"Are you an idiot or something?" Cana asked him. "For the millionth time hold the ribbon in your left hand and the scissors in your right. Glide the scissors along and the ribbon will curl. It's not difficult for anyone of normal intelligence."

"Why don't you do it then? I'll take my below average intelligence and go help lift something heavy," Natsu replied and stropped off.

"Go ahead and sulk like a little girl!" Cana yelled after him. She plopped into his vacated seat and started producing perfectly curled ribbons like a pro. It was probably a girl thing.

I had my fingers crossed that she wouldn't talk to me and for a few minutes she didn't. I blew up a balloon, tied a knot and pushed it across the table. She added the ribbon. A nice simple production line. But of course Cana was a woman. They never shut up for long.

"So…" she said and I knew where this was going. Apparently I wasn't the only one Erza had been blowing off using the word 'fine'. I'd managed to evade the girls' most pressing questions but it was about time one of them caught up with me.

"So what happened?"

"What are you talking about?" She gave me _The Look_. Damn, were women born knowing how to do these things? Was there some kind of club they attended or manual they read? I resisted the urge to sigh. If she wanted answers she was going to have to force them out of me because the way I saw it, if Erza hadn't told them what happened that night then who was I to go running my mouth?

"I'm talking about when you guys went to Mira's party. Erza's been really down since then. I mean we kind of got the basic gist that it didn't work out because if things went the way we all thought they would, she would have been really happy…"

Now, that was news to me. Thinking about it, of course they knew what Erza was going to try that night. Girls hunt in packs. They probably helped her pick out those shorts. _Ah, damn it Jellal._ Do _not _think about the shorts. I shifted uncomfortably on the chair. Tried and failed to force the image from my mind. Which inevitably lead to me thinking about Erza wearing my varsity jacket and nothing else. Fuck. I needed to calm the hell down.

"Nothing happened," I managed to say and it was the truth. The wholly regrettable truth. Hindsight was a bitch. If I'd known then what I knew now I would have fucked her six ways to Sunday. She might have still ended up being weird with me but at least I'd have gotten laid. Now, that was a Gray thought if I'd ever had one. Maybe I was spending too much time around him. Or too much time fantasizing about Erza.

"Something must have happened. I mean, I know what she _planned _on doing so if she did even half of that then something definitely happened," Cana's eyes bored into mine searching for some kind of clue.

I merely shrugged and picked up the next balloon.

"Come on, Jellal. We're worried about her. At least tell me what you said to her. It's a given that you turned her down, for whatever crazy reason, but did you say it nicely?"

Of all the girls, Cana was the pushiest. And since I was effectively trapped at this table by my stupid, uncooperative body I had to tell her something. "All I said was that she wasn't the type of girl I could be with and that I'd only end up wanting something more. I was nice."

* * *

"Erza, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Natsu. Move this star a little to the left."

"That's all you ever say these days. 'Fine'. I miss old Erza."

"Old me?"

"Yeah, the you who used to beat Gray and I senseless several times a week."

I faked a laugh and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "You miss me beating you up?"

"Not exactly. I miss you being all fierce and kick ass. A sad face doesn't belong on a girl as pretty as you."

Natsu really knew how to get right to the heart of things. "It's really sweet of you to say that but really I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?" He looked annoyed.

"I said bullshit. This is about Jellal isn't it?"

"No-"

"Yes, it is. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot but I notice things. Like the way you look at him."

"And how exactly do I look at him?" I tried to put a little bit of threat into my voice to get him to shut up but my heart wasn't in it and he ploughed on, undeterred.

"Like you love him."

I might have actually stopped breathing. It couldn't possibly be that obvious. Natsu was staring at me, point blank, daring me to deny it. I tried a little laugh but it sounded strangled even to me. I had to contradict him now. The longer this silence stretched on the more it would seem like a confirmation. I opened my mouth - _I don't love him – _No good. The words wouldn't come out_. _Natsu grabbed my hand and pulled me down a quiet corridor.

"That day. Those shorts. You wore them for him didn't you?"

I nodded and tried desperately to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over.

"So what happened?"

All my girlfriends had been plying me with the same question for weeks and I'd managed to deflect them away from the truth. When Jellal and I hadn't strolled out of Mira's bedroom hand in hand that Sunday morning it must have be instantly apparent that something had gone terribly wrong. I hadn't really needed to explain. Natsu didn't know what they knew. His normally chilled, carefree expression was replaced by a serious mask of concern. He was so worried about me. His eyes pleaded with me to tell him. To confess and let him take care of me. Something in me snapped.

"He didn't want me! I put myself out there like a fool and he turned me down."

"What? That's impossible."

"Believe me. It fucking happened. I was standing there, practically naked, and he walked away from me."

"Erza. No man in his right mind would walk away from you regardless if you were wearing nothing, those shorts or a brown paper bag. Trust me. Even I didn't know where to look."

"No, you trust me. He wasn't interested."

Natsu frowned, "But he couldn't keep his hands off you that day and ever since then he's been practically obsessed. He's got it bad for you."

I had to laugh at that, "He told me straight up that I wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend. I know he's been staring at me but he's only waiting for me to flip and go back to acting normal. But I can't Natsu, I just can't." Huge, fat tears started making their way down my face. I dashed at them angrily. I never cried. Or at least I had rarely cried before about five weeks ago when this whole fiasco kicked off. In true man fashion, Natsu physically stepped back from my emotional outburst.

"Wait here. I'll go get him."

"No!" I grabbed his arms, "No, Natsu please. I only need some time. I'll get over it."

He looked doubtful but pulled me into the circle of his arms. "You can cry on me if you want to."

I sniffed and buried my face into his chest. Time. All I needed was a little time.

* * *

"You said what to her?"

I would have repeated myself but Cana's expression was already telling me I'd fucked up big time.

"Oh. My. God. You bastard," She hissed across the table. I was infinitely grateful that we were in public. I strongly suspected that she wanted to slap me. Or perhaps, stab me with the scissors.

"What was I supposed to say?"

"A simple no would have sufficed. You didn't have to go and tear down her self-confidence. What breaking her heart wasn't enough for you?"

"I didn't break her heart and Erza has more self-confidence than any woman I've ever met. I might have dented her ego a bit but-"

"Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. I can't even deal with this. Her _ego_? Are you insane? You have no idea how much she tortured herself over you. And you're not even worth it. Bastard. You don't fucking deserve her."

"You think I don't know that? Why do you think I turned her down? Would you rather I just made her my fuck buddy? Would that make you or her happy? Mavis, I can't please any of you no matter what I do."

We glared at each other, neither willing to back down.

"I hope that when you realize how important she is to you, it's too late. I hope she's moved on. I hope you feel every ounce of pain that you've put her through only ten times worse. Give it time. You're going to regret taking her for granted. I guarantee it." Cana smacked the scissors down on the table and marched away.

I sighed. Time to regret. I already had plenty of that.


	7. Jealous

_A/N: Everyone wants to know what happened to the confession letter. Hmm I wonder..._

_That mystery will linger a bit longer. In the mean time, this chapter is one of my favourites. I hope you enjoy reading it!_

_I do not own Fairy Tail. _

_Chapter Seven – Jealous_

"Hey Erza, can I talk to you for a bit?"

"Sure Simon, what is it?" I was going around the tables making sure each frosted glass bowl had a tea candle in it. I'd recovered from my little moment with Natsu enough that Jellal following behind me holding the box of spare candles was not a major issue.

"I just wanted to know, what colour is your prom dress?"

I smiled. Simon was so thoughtful. I looked across the table to answer him but Jellal spoke first.

* * *

"Her dress is a dark purple but why would you need to know?" I dragged my eyes off Erza's ass long enough to look Simon in the eye as I answered him. Why had I volunteered to do this? Every time Erza reached across the table for the glass centre piece her dark blue skirt slid up higher, revealing more of the pale creamy skin on the back of her thighs. Maybe I was a masochist. I seemed to enjoy torturing myself with ideas of parting those thighs and... _Don't finish that thought._ I damn well knew I couldn't do _that_ but I still wanted to.

Quite honestly, I felt perilously close to my limit. If she'd been down for it I'd be more than willing to fuck her right here, right now, on this blue and silver decorated table, not giving a damn who was watching.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Simon looked cautiously between Erza and me, clearly sensing a problem. "Because I'm taking her to prom and I want to pick out a good corsage. One that matches her dress."

Fantasy destroyed, I nearly dropped the box of candles. "No. You're not."

"Yes, actually he is," Erza said.

My jaw was more or less on the floor. "I thought you were going to prom with me. You've always been going to prom with me," I sounded like a whiny kid but this was unbelievable.

"Did you ask me?" Her voice was flat, hands busy with the decorations. Why was she still checking the god damn table at a time like this?

I stared at her, "Did I- No, of course not! I didn't think I needed to. I knew you were my date to prom since we were thirteen."

* * *

That was true. He'd been my date to prom pretty much since the day I'd found out such a final year event existed. It was a previously indisputable fact that we would be going together. Thing was, now that everything between us had changed, I couldn't face the thought of him whirling me around the dance floor like we were some lovely dovey couple. It would be a cheap imitation of what I really wanted from him. I didn't think my heart could take it. Still, I felt a twang of pain since he had remembered what colour dress I planned on wearing.

"Simon asked and I said yes. He's my date to prom."

* * *

I could not have been more surprised if the world suddenly stopped spinning and dropped out from beneath my feet. "And you were going to tell me this when?" I snapped at her, then realised that wasn't what I really wanted to say. I turned to Simon, "Look, I'm really sorry but she's going to prom with me."

"No, I am not. Don't pay him any mind, Simon. A corsage that's violet and white would suit my dress. Just make sure it's a dark shade, more like plum than lavender."

I was starting to feel annoyed. She'd just ripped the carpet out from underneath me, a mere two days before the big event. Yet here she was. Calm and collected. Standing there, a mere two feet from me, tossing out shades of purple across the table to her new date like it was nothing. While I played catch up like a damn fool.

"I already ordered a corsage for you. Weeks ago. You're going to prom with me."

"I said no, Jellal. What's wrong with you?"

"With me? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Maybe-"

"Shut up Simon!" we cried in perfect unison.

* * *

Why was Jellal being so insistent? There were loads of girls still running around like crazy trying to tie down a date. He was good-looking, athletic, popular. He could go to prom with anyone he wanted. Anyone who was good enough. I forced the wave of self-hatred back down. Only Jellal could make me feel so utterly worthless. _But that, _I told myself,_ was because you let him get to you_.

And I was tired of being that girl. I was tired of falling asleep with tears in my eyes. I was tired of my friends hovering over me like they expected me to break down any minute. I was not some porcelain doll to be so easily shattered and it was time to act accordingly. I kept telling myself to move on but was I really trying? I'd been wallowing like a lovesick fool. This behaviour needed to stop. Now. I turned and faced him head on, "Nothing is wrong with me. I'm going to prom with Simon. Get over it."

"Get over it? Oh no sweetheart. You're the one that needs to get the fuck over it. It's been an entire month. I said no. Big deal. Move the hell on and stop acting like this."

* * *

Her face went pale. Holy shit. Why was I even bringing that up now?

Because she'd hurt me. The truth rocked through me. I genuinely had wanted to take her to prom. A lot more than I'd realised or would ever admit. The revelation left me reeling. How exactly did I feel about Erza that she could set me up, then knock me down so easily? Why was I spending hours every day and night dreaming about making love to her? What was it about the way Simon looked at her that irritated me so much? It was too complicated. All this emotional bullshit. I ignored the warning bells going off in my head and decided to focus on just the one feeling. Anger.

All of this had to be her fault. She'd fucking come on to me and thrown our whole relationship out of whack. And for what? A one night stand we hadn't even had! I was trying so hard to get things back to the way they were but she seemed determined to thwart me at every opportunity. Looking so fucking sexy all the time. Wandering half naked through my thoughts. Not letting me hold her and giving off that irresistible 'I'm untouchable' aura. Torturing me all month long. Now I couldn't even take her to prom. What the fuck?

* * *

I could not believe he dared to go there. All this time neither of us had mentioned that night and now he wanted to bring it up? What the hell? Our voices were raised and people were starting to stare. Poor Simon looked like he wanted to disappear.

I made a conscious effort to bring my voice down and tried to moderate my tone but it still came out a little bitchy, "You're right about one thing. _You _said no. I'm done Jellal. I don't want to play this game with you."

He slammed the box of candles down on the table and the glassware jangled. "A game? Do you think it was fun for me to have you throw yourself at me like a fucking whore?"

All the air rushed out of my lungs. It was like when I'd first started at the dojo and hadn't quite learned how to fall properly. He'd thrown me and I'd hit the mats hard, unable to breathe. It'd been a while since anyone had bested me. I'd forgotten how much it hurt.

* * *

I wanted to take the words back the moment they left my mouth. Erza looked like I'd just ripped her heart out or something. The silence in the room was absolute. You really could have heard a pin drop. I stepped towards her, held my hand out, imploring. _Erza, I didn't mean that. _I had time to think the words but not say them before Natsu's fist slammed into my face.

There wasn't much pain. That would come later. I was surprised but I guess I shouldn't have been. It was only what I deserved.

"Leave. Leave now before I kick your ass and you end up losing two friends instead of one."

Natsu was glaring at me. Erza had turned her back on me. What choice did I have? I left.

* * *

_The next day…_

"This is terrible. Tomorrow will be the worse night of my life. Prom is ruined!"

"Don't worry. We can fix this. Or at least hide it."

"I have a mountain on my face!" Lucy wailed, "For the rest of my life I'll be the girl with the huge spot on her forehead in the prom photos!"

"It will go down. Here, drink this," I said and handed her a cup of green tea.

I had expected questions or even pity but none of my friends had said anything yesterday. After _he_ left, I had rearranged my expression into something I hoped resembled supreme calm and promptly put everyone else back to work. _Nothing to see here folks_, _move along..._ It was maybe fifteen minutes later when Cana had gently shaken my arm that I realised I'd been staring into space. For the second time that day one of my friends guided me out the room but not before I overheard Jenny saying "I told you they were together. Only a couple could have a domestic in public like that." It was like an arrow straight through my heart. Well, it would have been if I'd had any heart left to be hurt. Cana had sat me down in a quiet corner with a mountain of pale blue linen napkins to fold then disappeared with a look that spelled trouble for someone. Five minutes later Levy had taken a seat, back to back with me, and helped me fold. She paused only to hand me a tissue over her shoulder. "I'm not crying," I had insisted, in what was becoming a regular denial. "I know," was all she had said back, with her usual level of understanding tact. When I finally recovered enough to return to the main room, there were no more half whispered comments or sneaky glances. Normality achieved, probably under pain of death from Cana but still, I was grateful. If anyone so much as mentioned _his_ name I felt sure I would fall apart just like that porcelain doll I had claimed not to be.

After a restless night, I refused to dwell on it anymore. Instead I focussed on other things. Like writing my speech for the graduation ceremony next week or the sudden appearance of a spot on Lucy's forehead the day before prom. She had come over to the girls' dorm, hoping that our collective resources would produce a miracle fix. For now I tried to calm her down while everyone else raided their makeup bags.

There was a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in," I yelled but whoever it was must not have heard me. I crossed the room and yanked the door open.

* * *

She had yelled '_Come in'_ but I worked on the assumption that if she knew it was me outside the door, her response would have been somewhat different. So I stayed put and waited. Went back over what I was going to say. If she bothered to listen to me. The door opened. I got a glimpse of her surprised expression and then the door was closing in my face. I shoved my foot in between the door and the frame to keep it open. The pain was worth it if I could talk to her.

"Erza. Wait. Please, just wait a minute. I need to talk to you."

* * *

He was the last person I expected to see at my door. The last person I wanted to see. I reflexively started to slam the door but it bounced off his foot. He didn't even flinch.

"There's nothing to talk about," I said. A blue-black bruise had appeared under his eye overnight. He looked tired and desperate and little-boy-in-trouble cute. Against my better judgement, I felt my heart waver. How was it he could do that to me every single time?

"Please. We've known each other too long to let our relationship fall apart like this. I swear I never meant to say that to you. I have never and will never think of you as a… as a… you know what I mean."

_Whore. _

The word hung unspoken between us. I knew he hadn't meant what he said yesterday. Better than anyone, he knew that I wasn't that kind of girl. Didn't mean the words had hurt any less though. Especially coming from him.

Jellal nudged the door open a fraction, "Can I come in please? I want to apologise and I think I need to explain too. I brought strawberry cake."

* * *

I held up the white box tied with the fancy pink ribbon from her favourite bakery. If this didn't get me in then I was well and truly screwed. I saw her eyes light up, then return to looking hurt.

"Please. I'm begging here, Erza. Please."

I'd been up half the night trying to think of ways to fix things. I was absolutely desperate to talk to Erza and I knew it had to be in person. No apologetic text could make up for how I behaved yesterday. I already had half a dozen messages from my friends telling me I was an idiot, although they used far stronger language than 'idiot'. A few not so subtle Facebook statuses let me know I was more or less dead to all the women I knew. Natsu had left a seven minute rant on my voicemail that cryptically ended with _"She told me not to get involved, and I'm not, but you need to sort your shit out before you lose her. Erza... About you... She feels... Ah fuck! She'll kill me if I say anything. Point is, you make Erza cry again and I will fuck you up. I swear to god Jellal. Don't hurt her any more than you already have."_

Lose her. I hated the sound of that. So here I was. Sorting my shit out. Determined not to say anything that would upset Erza. Mavis, I couldn't even remember the last time I'd seen her cry. She was always so strong. I hated the thought that I was the cause of her current unhappiness. I didn't have a time machine to reverse, not just yesterday, but the last five weeks so a grovelling apology and strawberry cake would have to be the next best thing. Quite frankly, I'd get on my knees if that was what it took. "Erza, please," I repeated, hoping against hope that she'd give me a chance.

"What makes you think you deserve even a single second of her time?"

Damn it all to hell. My latest and greatest archenemy. Cana's voice came from behind me.

* * *

Cana appeared from Laki's room like a veritable force of nature. With not quite the same amount of attitude, Laki stuck her head into the hallway, her brown eyes huge behind her glasses. Through the wooden banister, I could see Juvia, halfway up the stairs, hands full of potions and bottles. Levy's door swung open, "I found this blemish gel. Oh hell." She froze. I prayed that little Wendy wouldn't decide to find out what was going on. She was too young for this kind of drama.

"It's okay, Cana" I said trying to dissolve some of the tension. Natsu had been in a dark rage for most of yesterday but I'd seen the same fiery look in Cana's eyes. I was usually the one protecting everyone. Now the shoe was on the other foot and it was strangely comforting to know how far my friends would go for me. However, if we didn't back this down a little World War III would kick off right here on the landing.

"Like hell it is! I'm sick of this bastard dragging you down then thinking a simple 'sorry' will fix everything. Get out Jellal. None of us want you here."

He didn't even look at her. "Let me in, Erza."

My eyes darted desperately between them. I didn't know what to do. "I-"

"Erza." Cana's voice was razor sharp, "Don't you dare even think about it. Tell him to get lost!"

"Shut up, Cana! I'm trying to fix things with my girl and we don't need any running commentary from the god damn audience."

His girl. He called me his girl. I was so stunned I didn't resist as he put his arm around my waist, forced me to step back and kicked the door shut behind us.

* * *

Cana was fast becoming the fucking bane of my life. Irritated as I was, I could still feel a rush of heat from being this close to Erza. She smelled delicious. I propelled her back into the room and I would have kept backing her up, right onto her bed, to do Zeref knows what to her if I hadn't seen Lucy sitting there. I gave her a look but it wasn't as effective as I might have hoped.

"I'm not leaving," She declared, "After what you said yesterday I think you should avoid saying anything to Erza you're not comfortable having me hear."

Like, _please let me fuck you. _It was probably for the best someone else was here. I'd arrived here humbled and ready to apologise. Yet, barely five minutes in and my body was already getting other, more exciting, ideas about what to do with the beautiful girl in my arms. I couldn't seem to stop lusting after Erza. It was getting ridiculous. With great reluctance I released my hold on her. Forced myself to take a step back and push the cake box into her hands. Gathered my thoughts, ignored the daggers Lucy was firing at me with her eyes, took a breath and started my little rehearsed speech.

"Erza, even if I apologised a hundred million times it won't make up for what I said. It was inexcusable. I know you're not like that. But yesterday… I always thought we would go to prom together and you switched up the game plan on me. It made me angry. That's not a reason to lash out at you like I did but you have to understand, thinking about Simon or anyone else but me taking you to prom makes me feel so… so…"

* * *

The cake box shook slightly as my hands trembled while I waited to hear what he would say. Could it be? Did he feel…?

"It makes me jealous."

He said it. I watched him run a hand through his hair. My heart was racing way too fast and I was finding it hard to breathe. Maybe, just maybe... I forced the thought down. No use getting ahead of myself. If he did say _those _three words next I felt sure I'd pass out from the shock.

* * *

I shifted restlessly. That was _not _part of the original apology I'd spent hours figuring out. The words rang true though. Jealous. I'd never felt that way about Erza before. Probably because she had always been there, by my side. I had no reason to feel envious of the time she spent with others because most of her time was spent with me. And it had been that way for years. I could hardly remember a single good memory in my life that didn't have her in it. It hit me then how much I'd missed her the last month or so. I'd been so consumed with the physical but god did I miss talking to her. We used to have these deep conversations about anything. Everything. Late night phone calls that lasted so long sometimes we watched the sunrise together. Then spent all day trying to keep each other awake during classes. Sometimes I'd just look at her and know exactly what she was thinking. Secret smiles from private jokes only we understood. We had fallen into the habit of finishing each others sentences so often that no one found it weird any more.

Yet, how many times in the last month had I wanted to tell her something but stopped myself? Awkward silence filled the space between Erza and me now. A dark void where there used to be only light. It seemed like no amount of time would ever heal the rift in our relationship. This was so messed up. Things shouldn't be this way between us. I needed Erza in my life as much as the air I breathed. I wanted her to be happy with me again. Laugh with me. Smile at me. Talk to me. Just be with me. _Only _me. Such an intense feeling swept over me. There was no name for it. I just felt it right down to my very core. Jealousy and longing and desire and, and, _oh god what was this?_ It was so overwhelming. All I could do was stand still and take a moment to look at Erza. Not at her breasts or her hips or anything like that. I mean _really_ look at her. At the person she was, who she had become, so familiar yet so different from the childhood friend I remembered.

This beautiful girl who had been so close to me all these years...

Now grown into an amazing, fearless woman...

How I felt about her...

This emotion...

* * *

Jellal was looking at me with the strangest expression. "I'm jealous and I don't even know why," he said slowly. "Lately, I've been so confused. I don't even know how I feel about you any more. Whenever I… Whenever I see you…"

It happened so fast.

Jellal closed the distance between us, cupped the back of my neck and pulled me to him. I was surprised but not for long. His lips on mine were warm and demanding. He asked and I gave, with no hesitation. The world fell away, leaving only me and him and this budding heat between us. Forget fireworks, the whole world could have ended with fire and brimstone, and we wouldn't have noticed. There was only this moment, this feeling, this crazy, impromptu, passionate display of affection that I thought we would never ever have. His hands wandered, one up into my hair, another down my back to press me closer. I longed to touch him but I was crushed against his chest, unable to move. So I relaxed into his tight hold and left him in control. His tongue played along mine, explored my mouth with a sense of possession and ownership that was unmistakable. He kissed like we were lovers, like he needed me to live, like I was the only girl in the world. And for that moment, all three felt true. It was wonderful.

Jellal broke the kiss as abruptly as he had started it, pushed me away and fled without a word, door banging against the wall with the force of his hasty retreat. I stood in the sudden silence with my bruised lips, wondering what the hell was going on. Within seconds my bedroom door was crowded with a sea of curious faces. Except Cana who still looked furious. In the ensuing pandemonium with my heart still racing, head spinning, Lucy erupting into full blown hysterics while all the other girls asked questions left and right, I rested the small mangled white box on my dresser and didn't spare a thought for the crushed strawberry cake.


	8. Prom

_A/N: AV is short for Audio Visual. I can't reply to you personally so to all my guest reviewers - Arigato, this chapter is for you._

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Eight - Prom_

I was in love with my best friend. That much was obvious. Less clear was what to do about it.

I adjusted my tie in the bathroom mirror. When had it happened? Yesterday's kiss? A month ago on Mira's bed? No. It'd certainly taken those shorts to make me see Erza as a woman but my heart had been hers long before then. At the bon fire last year after the school festival? Or at the arcade when we were fourteen? The first time she ever beat me at the dojo when we were ten? Or maybe, just maybe, that fateful day of second grade when I'd first laid eyes on the beautiful, scarlet hair of the new girl? Had I loved her even before I knew her name?

I wasn't sure. Did it matter? She told me to pick a label. Father. Brother. Boyfriend. I'd walked away from her without making a choice. She offered her body to me. I'd turned her down. I'd fucked up in every possible way. Cana was right. I deserved every ounce of this pain. I'd blown my one and only chance at claiming the most perfect girl as my own. Even so, a small part of me dared to hope against all odds that it wasn't too late. I could fix this somehow, still end up with the girl.

Who was I kidding? I didn't deserve Erza. Not even a moment of her time should be wasted on an idiot like me. And it wasn't like she felt the same. I was someone she didn't mind telling all her secrets to, like any decent best friend. Someone to spar with at the dojo and walk to school with. Someone she was comfortable enough with that sharing a bed now and then had been a fun thought. Why hadn't I slept with her that night? It might have started out casual but in time I could have convinced her to be my girlfriend. Back then I'd known one night with her would never be enough but my thought process had been all wrong. I hadn't known the truth. Had been incapable of matching my desire to spend all my time with her to the emotion of love. She was so close to me that I couldn't see it. It wasn't until everything fell apart that I realised how I truly felt about her and even then I'd been painfully slow to figure things out. I might have been insisting we were friends but in my heart Erza had been exclusively mine for years.

I was such a fool. By my own actions I'd well and truly ended up in her friend zone. If you could even say I was there. We were barely speaking as it was. It felt like I was one step, one foolish action, one spiteful word away from her walking right out of my life. _Lose her, _Natsu's words kept repeating in my head. The very thought was enough to twist my heart into all kinds of painful knots. I was no longer sure how to act around her. To keep her.

On my desk rested two corsages. I let my hand linger over what I'd picked for Erza. I knew it was the perfect shade of purple to match her dress. It wasn't too big or fussy or overly girly. She might have liked it. Too bad she'd never wear it. I pocketed the other corsage and, with a sigh, went to pick up my date.

* * *

"The limo is here," Levy called out, the gold sequins on the bodice of her dress sparkling as she shifted from her perch on Lucy's window seat. Cue hysterics as everyone went through last minute checks. Levy wasn't fazed. I think the biggest problem she'd have tonight was balancing her time between Gajeel, Jet and Droy so that the latter two wouldn't end up in tears from her 'ignoring' them. Her zealous, overprotective brother figures really hadn't taken her getting a boyfriend that well.

"I swear to you, Lucy. Your fringe hides it. No one will notice so don't let it ruin your night," I said, turning my attention back to her. The spot really wasn't that bad. A little concealer had done wonders within minutes. Convincing Lucy she looked fine was taking a bit longer.

She let out a soft sigh, "You're right. I mean we only get to go to prom once so why spend it sulking?" I watched her go to the window and throw it open. "Natsu! Do I look pretty?"

I didn't listen for his response. I found my clutch and ushered everyone out the door. We had to get going or we'd be late. Waiting at the bottom of the stairs was my date. Simon. "You look beautiful," he said and I knew he one hundred percent meant it. I'd known him for about as long as I'd known Jellal. Somewhere along the line we'd grown apart but I was happy he was the one taking me to prom. That didn't stop me from quickly scanning the foyer for Jellal. He wasn't here, even though he should have been, with whatever lucky girl had scooped him as a date at the last minute. I wondered if she'd be prettier than me...

Lucy's landlady appeared out of nowhere and insisted on taking photos. I smiled with everyone else. Somehow, Simon's hand on my waist felt foreign and strange. Maybe I should have let Jellal take me to prom after all. _Stop it. _I pushed him from my mind and concentrated on making good memories. As Lucy said, we only ever got to go to prom once. Thoughts of yesterday would only confuse and upset me. We piled into the limo and I let everyone's excitement infect me. I was not going to be down today.

* * *

"This is depressing," Natsu said, "I cannot believe you brought Millianna to prom. She's a sophomore."

"For a change I agree with Natsu," Gray added, "It's like coming with your little sister. And don't even say it was the best you could do last minute. I know for a fact that your fan club is full of girls who would kill to be here with you tonight. Now they're probably all kicking themselves thinking you have a Lolita complex they should have picked up on."

"I don't have a fan club. Or a Lolita complex. And everyone loves Millianna."

"And it's still lame."

"And you were dragged here against your will by Juvia," I pointed out. I didn't have anything against Juvia. In fact I thought she was perfect for Gray to curb his womanising ways. But push comes to shove I'd at least chosen my date. Millianna had been over the moon. She looked cute in a pale pink, ruffled dress I'd brought for her this morning and was busy charming every guy here with her cat ears. By the end of the night I reckoned she'd have at least half a dozen new nii-sans.

My eyes swept the room. All night I'd found myself looking for one person and one person only.

"She looks good right?" Natsu said, cutting into my thoughts. Both him and Gray were watching me. I didn't like the careful look in their eyes. Shouldn't they be arguing with each other instead of ganging up on me?

At least Natsu and I were back on good terms. Most likely thanks to a certain blonde who had witnessed my temporary loss of sanity in Erza's bedroom yesterday. He hadn't apologized for hitting me and I didn't expect him to. I also didn't expect him to be giving me these meaningful looks. It was a bad day if this dense guy was one step ahead of me. But what he kept hinting at was so unbelievable... I just couldn't deal. Emotionally, I was on the world's worst rollercoaster. What I wouldn't give to hit the pause button and have some time to sort out this mess in my head.

I kept my face neutral, "She looks great." That was an understatement. Erza looked stunning tonight. Breathtakingly beautiful in a dark purple dress that hugged her curves. There was a slit up one side that revealed little flashes of her leg when she moved. I felt like beating the crap out of every guy here who dared let their eyes linger in her direction. I couldn't blame them though. She was the hottest girl in this place. Hands down. It almost hurt to look at her. What hurt more was watching her spend the whole evening on another man's arm.

"You could-" Natsu started to say but I cut him off.

"I could have but I didn't. And now I can't."

"Don't be like that. Erza-"

"Erza deserves better," I said firmly. I couldn't even entertain the idea that Natsu kept pushing. It'd break me to believe him only to find out it wasn't true.

"And they say I'm the idiot," Natsu murmured under his breath but I pretended not to hear him. There were so many things I could have done, should have said, would have changed if I'd only known the truth about how I felt about Erza. Anything I tried now would be an obvious case of too little, too late.

* * *

I could feel him watching me. His eyes had followed me all night but everytime I looked in his direction Jellal glanced away. Was he avoiding me? We hadn't spoken at all and I was too busy micromanaging tonight's event to chase him down. This wasn't the place for that conversation anyway. I was tempted to send him a text but what would I write? There was so much unsaid between us. The words weighed on my mind like a ton of bricks but when it came to actually typing them out I couldn't do it. So I threw myself into the party and tried to simply enjoy the night.

Prom had gone well. The official photographer had taken everyone's photos as they arrived and set it up so they scrolled across the wall in a looping slideshow. The AV club had done something really clever so people could tweet messages and have them up on the wall alongside the photos. New comments were flying up so fast they were almost impossible to keep up with. Dinner had been served earlier and nearly everyone was on the dance floor now, having a great time.

Looking around, there were a few surprise couples. Like Juvia beaming over a reluctant Gray who was having his usual trouble keeping his clothes on. I must have told him at least ten times that this was a _formal_ event and that if he didn't want me to hand his ass to him in public he'd better unlearn his stripping habit for at least a few hours. Then there was Bisca and Alzack who were so damn cute around each other. I'd forced them to stand a bit closer after the first terrible photo where there was a gap a mile wide between them. I could see them across the room. Holding hands and talking. Finally. Not that I had room to talk with my current 'it's complicated' relationship status. I checked the time. 10.48. We only had the town hall until eleven. It'd gone so fast.

"Erza, what are you doing here? Come dance!"

I let Millianna pull me onto the dance floor. She was literally glowing with happiness. I didn't understand why Jellal had brought her but I was glad he did. Her upbeat personality temporarily cheered me up. Despite my best efforts and the electric atmosphere, all evening my emotions had kept drifting towards feeling down. Silly thoughts kept whirling through my head. About Jellal and yesterday and what those events meant for us. If there was an 'us'. Millianna squeezed my hand and I refocused on the reality in front of me. This was my senior year prom night. I had to be happy. The song ended and another did not start. Instead, Makarov-sensei took the mic.

"Is everyone having a good time?" There was a loud roar and some individual shouts demanding that the music come back on. "Settle down. First, I think we need a cheer for the student council and all the volunteers that helped make tonight possible." He paused and waited for the noise to die down. "I hope prom night will always be remembered as a special event of your time spent at Magnolia High. Next week you'll be graduating and leaving us so the teachers thought it'd be nice for you to spend some more time in a place we know you love. School." There was a muted groan. "It pleases me to announce that the night is not over. The official prom after party begins in the school gym in half an hour with special guests your very own school band, The Trimens, and your favourite sensei, DJ Panterlily, spinning the tapes till 3am."

There was a massive cheer and rush of excitement. I had to laugh. '_Spinning the tapes_'? Jii-san really thought he was down with the kids.

"Can I come? Can I? Please Erza nee-san."

"That's a negative," Jellal said coming to stand to the left of me. It was the closest we'd been all night.

* * *

"Ah but why?" Millianna pouted.

I ruffled her messy hair. "Because I promised your parents I would get you home no later than midnight. And it's practically a given that someone will spike the punch and things will get out of hand."

"You mean things will get fun."

"Do what you like at your prom in two years. For tonight, I'm taking you home."

"Alright then. I can't really complain. Every girl I know is so jealous. I kind of felt bad that I was stealing your date, Erza nee-san."

Erza blinked. I wondered if she would deny it but she just smiled. "I don't mind since it was you." Which was exactly why I'd chosen Millianna. No one could misunderstand our relationship.

Millianna drew my arm up around Erza's shoulders and I automatically pulled her closer. She fit so perfectly against my side. Barely twenty-four hours ago being this close to Erza would have triggered a million dirty thoughts. Now I only had one. How could I keep her here? But that was a selfish, stupid thought. She wasn't even my date for tonight. I had tried to keep some space between us but she had me under her spell and I couldn't resist the hold she had over me. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Even if I got burned I'd still be back for more. Millianna stepped back and made a rectangle using the thumb and index finger of both hands like she was framing up a camera shot. She closed one eye and tilted her head to the side. "Just as I thought. Perfect together."

There was a flash that surprised us all. The official photographer looked at his camera screen. "You two do look pretty good together," he said and disappeared into the crowd.

* * *

Jellal's arm around my shoulders felt right as usual. My skin tingled where his fingers rested on my bare arm. After yesterday I was really unsure where I stood with him. He'd said he was jealous and then... And then we'd shared that mind-blowing kiss but tonight we hadn't seen each other properly until now. I was starting to really believe that he was avoiding me. Which depressed me no end. Thinking about it, we'd been more or less avoiding each other for the last month. 'Awkward' was the best way to describe how things between us had been but something had shifted yesterday. The energy between us was definitely different. I sneaked a glance up at him. He was smiling but I couldn't help thinking that he seemed really sad too.

Sad or not, the fact remained that after all this time spent apart, he was here now, holding me close and for this moment everything was as it should be. I reached out and grabbed the lapel of his jacket. "Hey," I said softly. He looked down at me and the breath caught in my throat. Jellal was everything I'd ever wanted and when he looked at me like that it was almost more than I could bear.

"Hey," his reply was equally as soft. His free hand brushed the hair out of my eyes in a familiar action that was a throwback to a time before all this confusion. My heart ached. I had to fight the urge to throw my arms around him and never let go.

_Please love me. I'll never ask for anything ever again. Just love me._

"I- Jellal, umm," I began.

Jellal's hand drifted down my face and his thumb ran lightly over my lower lip. The words I wanted to say died in an instant.

_Please, please, please..._

His hand dropped. "You look beautiful tonight, Erza."

I couldn't even reply. His weight shifted away from me as he put some space between us. The fabric of his jacket slipped through my fingers and I was left with only the sudden sense that I was losing him.

"There you are," said Simon. He looked at the two of us. "Maybe, I should-"

Jellal's arm slipped completely from my shoulders. His hand landed on the small of my back and pushed me towards Simon. "I'll see you later. I've got to take Millianna home."

And he was walking away from me. Again.

* * *

I took Millianna's hand and led her through the crowd. Left Erza in Simon's arms. Ignored the green eyed monster that reared its ugly head demanding I take her away from him. Erza had made her choice. I wasn't the person she wanted to be with tonight. I tried to tell myself that I was doing the right thing. I'd seen the way Simon looked at Erza. I could understand it now. He was as whipped as I was, only he seemed smart enough not to hurt her. I couldn't quite suppress my negative thoughts about him though. If I wasn't careful I'd fall into the _'If__ I can't have her, no one can' _way of thinking and end up stalking the poor girl the way Juvia haunted Gray.

I almost wished I could return to ignorance and just be friends with Erza. After all, it had only been one day. One lousy day and these intense emotions were already crippling me way worse than a month of simple lust for her body ever had. As we crossed under the string of glowing stars above the entrance Millianna stopped and pointed. "Quick, look!"

I glanced up. The picture of Erza and I scrolled across the wall. We looked relaxed and happy. Caught in the moment of smiling at Millianna's quirky action. I could see myself fifty years from now looking at old photos, coming across that one and thinking '_That's the one that got away'. _Because that was what was going to happen. Someday I _would_ lose her. She would fall in love and I'd still be the best friend. Something tightened in my chest. I turned away and walked out into the night.

* * *

He was acting so strange. Had he almost kissed me just now? I didn't know what to make of it. Lucy thought he might have finally fallen for me. She said it was obvious from the way he acted yesterday. It had definitely been one hell of a kiss. I'd tossed and turned all night, my thoughts in turmoil. Waking up this morning no obvious answers had revealed themselves. It had plagued me all day. Dozens of thoughts ran around my head in circles.

Sharing one kiss didn't mean anything if our relationship didn't change. However, could I really say it was only a kiss? Maybe he regretted it. Yet, it really seemed like he'd do it again. But maybe I was hoping for clues of affection that weren't really there. If he didn't say the three words that really mattered then we were still just friends, right? I'd already told him how I felt in my letter. All he had to do was say it back but that was not what happened yesterday. He had admitted feeling jealous which I guess was a start. Then why was he avoiding me and trying so hard to push me at Simon? Oh no. What if he was only jealous in a friendly kind of way like Jet and Droy with Levy? But the kiss... This was so stressful. I wanted answers but I couldn't ask him. Even though I knew Jellal hadn't meant it, his words about throwing myself at him had stuck with me. I was done making the first move.

"Erza! Erza!" Lucy grabbed my arm and started shaking me.

"What? What is it?" I realised with a start that I'd probably been blanking Simon for the last few minutes. He was too polite to interrupt my thoughts and point out that I was being a horrible date.

"The voting for the yearbook superlatives are up! Natsu and I won best couple!" She was literally bouncing up and down with happiness.

I laughed, "That's great Lucy."

"Come quick, the AV club is scrolling them on the wall now."

We joined everyone else, laughter and cheers spontaneously breaking out as each winner was announced. Natsu as 'Loudest' didn't surprise anyone. 'Biggest Heartbreak' was Gray, again no surprise. 'Most Likely to Win a Nobel Prize' went to Levy making her blush like crazy. 'Most Likely to Not Change After High School', 'Most Likely to Shock Everyone at the Class Reunion', 'Biggest Gossip', 'Best Smile', the list went on and on. I ended up with 'Most Likely to Be President' and 'Most Likely to Be Your Boss' which I guess said a lot about how people saw me. I didn't mind.

The AV club were really out doing themselves. For the couple ones they'd managed to link up the superlatives with the prom photos. There was Lucy and Natsu as 'Best Couple'. She screamed right in my ear as their photo went up. I winced and twisted away from her, "Alright already. Calm down."

"Oh my god. You won something too."

"What? In the couple section? That's impossible…" I trailed off looking at the picture on the wall and the accompanying superlative caption.

* * *

Millianna sat next to me in the taxi. Her fingers moved rapidly as she text all her friends about how 'totally awesome' going to prom had been. "Are you okay Jellal? You and Erza seem a bit off with each other."

"We're fine." Damn, even I was using that stupid word now.

Millianna hesitated like she wanted to press me on the subject then shrugged and let it go. Yet another thing I liked about her. She knew how to mind her own business. I stared out the car window feeling uncharacteristically melancholy. Why didn't I do something to get Erza and me away from the word 'fine'? I could confess. Tell her how I felt. No. I couldn't do that. No matter what Natsu hinted, I was certain Erza couldn't feel this way about me. I'd only known my true feelings for a day and was having a hard time keeping everything under control. If Erza had felt this way for even an instant, she would have told me for sure. So here was the truth. I, Jellal Fernandes, eighteen year old high school (almost) graduate, had fallen head over heels into an unrequainted love with my best friend. And if I told Erza I risked losing her as a friend in an epic awkwardness that would make the last month seem positively cheery in comparison. That would kill me. This knowledge didn't seem to stop me doing other stupid things that risked our friendship. Yesterday I'd forced a kiss on her which was pretty out of line considering I'd rejected her own advances and even called her a whore for it. I winced just thinking about it. Yet just now I'd been so close to kissing her again. Simple fact was, I still wanted her, but on a level way deeper than basic physical attraction. God, I'd fucked up so badly and seemed to only be getting in deeper. My only option was to get a grip and get over her before I ruined everything.

But I doubted that I could. Erza was under my skin in the worst possible way. No other woman could compare. I wanted only her. The girl I was desperate for yet couldn't have. Would never have.

"Hey, the yearbook superlatives are out and you won a few," Millianna scrolled down a long list on her phone.

"Hmm? Which ones?" I asked even though I didn't really care. How could I? Consumed as I was with thoughts of Erza.

"You got… 'Most Unforgettable', that's probably because of your tattoo. And 'Guy You'd Most Like to Take Home to Meet Your Parents', that's your crazy fan club."

"I don't have a fan club."

"Uh huh. You keep denying it. Hey, you and Erza won something that's so true!"

"We won something together? Like 'Best Friends' or something?"

"No silly. You won it as a couple. 'Most Likely to Get Married and Live Happily Ever After'. Isn't that cute?"

Great. Not only would I have the prom photo to haunt me, I'd also have my senior yearbook memorialising forever what our future could have been if I wasn't such an idiot or a coward or both. "It's real cute," I said and let me head fall back against the headrest. Prom night was turning out to be memorable for all the wrong reasons.


	9. Romeo & Juliet

_A/N: This chapter is a bit heavy on references. _

_First, the song used is 'Drawing The Line' by Royal Pirates. They are Korean-American so you have the choice of the K-pop or English version if you want to listen to it. _

_Second, if you haven't seen the 1996 version of Romeo & Juliet, there is an iconic moment when the fated lovers see each other through a fish tank and it's love at first sight. There are clips on Youtube. _

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Nine – Romeo & Juliet_

Normally Hibiki, Eve and Ren annoyed the hell out of me. They were shameless womanisers matched only by Gray. There was a difference though. Gray had enough common sense not to hit on me. Tonight, I was willing to forgive the Trimens host club-like actions. They were a great band. Someone, let's face it, _Cana, _had put vodka in the punch but it was like the teachers didn't even care. I suppose the majority of us were eighteen and all of us wouldn't be their responsibility after next week so they were willing to overlook those of us with late birthdays, myself included, for this one special night.

Simon had turned out to be a surprisingly good dancer and we'd been tearing up the dance floor till both of us were out of breath. Ever the attentive date, he'd gone off to get me some more punch. I stood by the gym doors and tried to cool down. Hearing a faint sound, I looked out into the night. A couple was out on the playing fields. In the darkness I couldn't see who it was but he grabbed her around the waist and spun her around and around, making her laugh. She sounded happy.

My eyes wandered over the school grounds. I had so many good memories here. A boyfriend swinging me around till I laughed was not one of them. Then again I shouldn't make assumptions. That girl might be with her boyfriend or maybe not. It was prom night so all kinds of random, one off hook-ups were possible. Not that I was tempted. My last attempt at losing my virginity had been an unmitigated disaster that I was not eager to have repeated.

I sighed. Where was Jellal? He should have been back from dropping Millianna home by now.

* * *

I stood in the shadow of the archway that connected the main building to the gym. Rumour had it that girls often watched the guys they liked practice on the playing fields from here. It was true that the view was pretty good. Erza stood in the doorway to the gym. Sound and light spilling out into the night around her. Memories of another party came to me. Seemed like a lifetime ago. I wished I could get a do-over.

Simon appeared and handed her a drink. As I watched he placed a hand on her hip and leaned down to say something to her. The music was loud. He was her date. He was allowed to be that close to her. That tight feeling in my chest came back with a vengeance. I wondered what he would do if she undid the halter-neck tie on that silky dress and let it slide to the floor. I don't know why I wondered. He was a decent guy. Not an idiot like me. He'd be gentle with her. Slow and careful. In the morning he would tell her he loved her. Ask her to go steady with him. It might be prom night but Erza was not a casual hook-up. She would be a good girlfriend. I bet they'd be happy together.

The thought made me sick.

* * *

"Do you want to dance some more?" Simon asked.

"In a few minutes, sure." I took a sip of the drink. Rum. The first lot of vodka punch must have run out. Where was Cana getting this stuff from?

"You're waiting for him aren't you?"

Simon's question surprised me but I didn't insult his intelligence by asking who 'him' was. "Yes. It's okay. I'm used to it." Damn. I hadn't meant to say that last part.

"If… if you were my girl I'd never make you wait for anything. Or wonder where I was. Or hurt you in anyway."

"That's sweet Simon. You'll be a great boyfriend for a very lucky girl one day."

"But not you."

He said it so soft I almost missed it. I looked up into his dark eyes. How could I have failed to realise it? He liked me. A lot. "Simon, I-"

"Don't sweat it Erza. I know it's always been him. Will never be anyone but him." The corners of his eyes crinkled up into laugh lines as he smiled, "For this one night, I've got you and that's enough. Dance with me."

I put my drink down but instead of leading me back onto the dance floor he pulled me out into the moonlight. The Trimens started up a new song. Vocals, drums and guitars blending into a smooth rock melody. We danced.

* * *

_We get close, we fall apart,_

_Red roses, broken hearts,_

_And we don't know which way to go,_

_We're in love, we're insane,_

_What's the sun without the rain?_

_I guess we'll find out as we go,_

* * *

I couldn't stand watching her dance with him. The song lyrics mocked me. In love and insane? They had no idea. I turned away, but the image of _my_ girl in _his_ arms was burned into my mind. I could've killed him. In desperation I stalked down to the main building. To my surprise the door swung open under my hands and I stepped into the cool hallway. The school at night was eerily quiet. A big empty space designed for hundreds, now visited by only one. My shoes squeaked loudly on the polished floor with every step I took.

A million memories of this place flooded my mind. The Home Economics kitchens where the only reason I passed was because I had Erza for a partner. She made chocolate chip cookies to die for. The Chemistry lab where Natsu and Gray got into a fight once and knocked over a Bunsen burner that would have burned the whole damn building down if it weren't for some quick thinking by Lyon and a handy bucket of water. I think the beating they got from Erza for that was one neither of them would ever forget. The Art Club. We weren't members but being on the student council meant we tended to get around all the clubs and sports teams. One afternoon last autumn, Reedus had asked Erza and I to pose for him. The resulting watercolour portrait hung in the school auditorium having won first prize in the national competition. We'd only sat normally on plain wooden stools, afternoon light flooding the room and playing off Erza's hair. Out of that short session, somehow he'd transformed Erza into a beautiful angel, wreathed in white, wings outspread as she floated down from the sky to accept a single red rose from me, a weary knight in battered armour complete with a golden sword, kneeling in the mud yet transfixed with the heavenly vision before him. It was a fantastical piece of work but he'd kept our faces so there was no mistaking who the picture was based on. I think it was around then that people who didn't know us that well started believing beyond a doubt that Erza and I were a couple, regardless of our denials. It struck me now that everyone but us seemed to realise how perfect we were for each other.

Reminiscing, I kept wandering through the main building right up the stairs to my familiar homeroom on the top floor. No good. Sitting in this seat only remind me that Erza wasn't there beside me. She was downstairs playing happy couple with Simon. The bastard. How dare he even ask her to prom? Everyone knew she was meant to be here with me. I had the sudden urge to hit something. Destroy something. Anything to vent this pent up jealous frustration inside me. I heard Gray's voice in my head, "_My textbooks? I burned those the minute final exams were over!"_

Brilliant idea. Thanks Gray. I went out into the hall and opened my locker. It was mostly empty. Everything I'd needed to revise was already at home. All that was left was a half-full notebook of little sketches and unimportant notes, a library book I'd never got around to returning, the usual crap in the bottom – pens that didn't write, a few uneaten snacks. And there, leaning against the side, a battered copy of _Romeo & Juliet _that I hadn't needed to use since English Lit last term. Sending a tragic love story up in smoke, could anything be more perfect?

I picked the book up, tucked it under my arm and slammed my locker shut. Made a mental note to return that damn library book. I debated whether or not to put the lock back on my virtually empty locker then decided I would. If I had to come back to get it that would help me remember the library book. As I put the lock back on _Romeo & Juliet _slid out from under my arm and hit the floor with a soft thud. When I picked it up something fluttered out from between the pages. A small cream envelope. I was pretty sure I hadn't seen it before. I flipped it over and immediately recognised the handwriting on the front. Erza.

_What the hell?_

* * *

_You keep on drawing the line,_

_Just a little bigger every time,_

_And I must be losing my mind,_

'_Cause I know I want you in my life,_

* * *

Simon spun me effortlessly as the chorus came back around. The line between Jellal and I had been moved so many times I don't think either of us knew where it was any more. But the lyrics were right. Losing my mind or not. He was still the only one I wanted. Even if I had to settle for us being only friends. The song came to an end. We all clapped and cheered. A pounding dance beat came on as the sound switched over to the DJ.

"I'm going to call Jellal and make sure he's okay. Oh!"

"What is it?"

"Oh my god. I think I left my clutch in the limo! My keys, my phone, everything is in there."

"Okay. Don't worry. I've got the company's number."

"Will someone be there at this time?"

"I think so. The same company does taxis. The switchboard should be active all night."

I waited while he made the call and explained to whoever answered.

"They say they've got it at the office. The driver found it. We can go pick it up now if you like."

"No, I could just crash with Lucy-" I paused. Natsu would probably be there. That would be awkward. Cana? No, she'd party all night and probably invite people back. Great as tonight had been, I wanted to sleep. Levy would be with Gajeel. Juvia then. As if on cue Juvia stumbled out the gym door practically glued to Gray. Which wasn't new. Him kissing her certainly was new. Whoa. Strike her off the list then. Mavis knew, all hell would break loose in the morning between them and I didn't want a front row seat for the apocalypse. There were other people I could ask but it'd be such a hassle. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all. It's good my house is so close. We can walk there to get my dad's car and I'll drive you over."

"Thanks Simon. I'm really sorry about this," I didn't look back as we left the party behind.

* * *

Tearing the envelope open, I leaned against my locker and unfolded the single piece of paper within. It was definitely from Erza. Her neat cursive script filled nearly the whole page. I tilted the apparent letter towards the moonlight so I could see it better and started reading.

_Jellal,_

_I know I'm being a coward by not telling you this to your face but in the end this is the only way I can say it. How I feel about you has changed and I can't deny it any more. I like you, a lot, and not as a friend. Truth is, I may have fallen for you. I wonder if, maybe, you might feel this way too? If you do then please keep reading my selfish confession. _

_I want us to hold hands when we walk to school. When I'm cold I want you to let me wear your varsity jacket. I want you to take me to prom and when we graduate I want your second top button. I want us to kiss and maybe do other things. I can't believe I just wrote that! I'm blushing like crazy right now but if it's you then I think I'm ready for, well, you know, it. I really hope you don't think that's weird. _

_All those wants definitely sound selfish right? I guess I'm like that when it comes to you. Greedy. I want you with me all the time. Silly really considering we spend nearly everyday together already. I'm rambling. Sorry, I'm nervous just writing this down. You must know I've never done something like this before. I'm really unsure of how to put into words the things I feel for you. In the end I suppose the simple truth is best. Somewhere in that long list of wants are my true feelings but it still doesn't seem like enough. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I want to be with you because I love you. _

_Perhaps those three small words say it all. I love you, Jellal. More than you could possibly know. And in my wildest of dreams you feel this way about me too. Because no one knows me like you do and I can't think of anyone I'd rather share this feeling with._

_Please believe that everything I'm writing is the truth. I can't really tell you when this all started. To be honest, I'm not too sure myself. I do know that I don't want these feelings to ever end. We've been best friends for so long now but don't you think we could be really happy together if we'd only give this a chance? _

_Please give us a chance._

_I'm waiting for you to reply and every second without knowing your answer will be agony for me. So think about it and let me know okay?_

_Erza_

I read it through again. And again. And again. At some point my legs forgot how to work and I ended up sliding down the lockers to sit on the cold linoleum floor. Erza loved me. She had confessed to me. Wanted to be with me all the time. Wanted me to kiss her and... _Oh god_. Through the confusing fog in my mind one clear thought came into focus – When? This letter had been in my locker, trapped in the pages of _Romeo & Juliet _but for how long?

_I'm waiting for you to reply and every second without knowing your answer will be agony for me._

The answer became glaringly obvious and everything else fell into place. Five weeks ago Erza put this letter in my locker expecting an answer. Courtesy of an ill-placed book and some incredibly bad luck, I'd completely ignored her confession. Worse in my ignorance I'd thought she was upset about me not noticing the change in her hairstyle. Her _hairstyle_? Damn it all to hell. I must have seemed like such a jerk. But she hadn't given up. She wore those shorts for me. To get me to notice her.

_Are you still a virgin?_

_For now, but maybe I don't want to be anymore._

Was I some kind of fucking idiot? She told me what she wanted right then. I'd sent her mix messages. Let her wear my varsity jacket like she wanted in the letter, put my hands all over her in the car then shut her out when she thought she finally had me in bed. How much courage had it taken her to even get me there? To take that huge risk with the tiny hope that I'd change my mind and acknowledge her feelings?

_I really hope you don't think that's weird._

Fucking hell. _Weird?_ I'd basically run away from her naked body. Who the fuck does that to a girl as beautiful as Erza? I definitely was a fucking idiot. No wonder she'd been acting so off this month. She'd been willing to give up her virginity to get me and I'd called her a whore. A_ whore _like she was some easy girl who seduced men into bed with her every damn day of the week. I fucking knew she wasn't into casual hook-ups. How could I have thought for a second that she'd come on to me with no serious emotions attached to her actions. Fuck! I had to be the stupidest man on the planet to have misinterpreted Erza so badly. Some best friend I was turning out to be.

_Just tell me. I put everything in black and white for you. The least you can do is the same for me._

Black and white. Right here in this letter. A straight up confession that she loved me and wanted to be with me. Happiness, there for the taking if I'd only take the chance she was offering me. I'd strung her along for a whole week without a solid yes or no answer. My eventual reply?

_You're just not the type of girl I could ever do this with. I would want something more._

In the light of this letter, my response that night was harsh and cold. Nothing like what I'd intended. It didn't even sound like a simple 'your-not-my-type' rejection. It was more like... an insinuation that she wasn't good enough for me or something utterly ridiculous like that. With those words, I'd broken her heart and crushed her self-esteem, according to Cana. Cana who now seemed completely justified in every bitchy thing she'd ever said to me.

_I hope that when you realise how important she is to you, it's too late. I hope she's moved on. I hope you feel every ounce of pain that you've put her through only ten times worse. Give it time. You're going to regret taking her for granted. I guarantee it._

Dear God, please let Cana be wrong about that.

I didn't run down the stairs. I launched myself down them, five, six steps at a time. Every last moment of the past month played through my mind but now with a different spin on it. The awkwardness, the way she flinched away from my touch, the fake smiles as she forced herself to try and be friends with the idiot who rejected her and broke her heart. Maybe if I'd spent less time staring at her breasts and more time looking in her eyes I'd have been able to see it. The love she felt for me as strong as anything I could feel for her. _Please don't let me be too late._ I flew across the covered walkway and collided with Scorpio-sensei at the gym doors.

"Easy there, Jellal. Where's the fire?"

"Where's Erza? I have to find Erza now. Right now."

He rubbed a spot on his chest. "Did you just smack me with a book?"

"Sensei! This is serious!" I threw the copy of _Romeo & Juliet_ to the floor. That damn thing was the reason I hadn't been able to read Erza's confession letter sooner. "Where the fu- Argh! Where is Erza?" I felt like shaking him.

His eyebrows crept up at my hasty words. "Sorry, but I think she left. Why don't you calm down and-"

"What? When? Why?" Desperation and disappointment slammed into me. "Where did she go?"

"Breathe, Jellal. She left maybe fifteen or so minutes ago with Simon." He pointed towards the school gates. "I thought it was strange. Shouldn't you be taking her home?"

"Yes. I should be. Tonight and every night for the rest of our lives if she'll let me."

"Got it bad huh?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!" I yelled over my shoulder as I bolted across the school grounds. I had to find my girl and apologize for being an ignorant bastard who caused her so much pain. I needed to hold her in my arms and tell her what I should have said weeks ago.

_I love you too._

* * *

The walk to Simon's house was quick and quiet. I hadn't realised he lived so close to the school. The security light flashed on as we walked up the stone path. Simon opened the front door of the two storey brick house and quickly grabbed the car keys out of a bowl.

"Shouldn't we ask your dad first?" I asked.

"I think he'll be more annoyed if I wake him up. We're only going downtown and back. He won't even know it was gone." He held open the car door for me and I was reminded yet again that Simon was as close to a perfect gentleman as a girl would ever find in high school. I could totally see him as Romeo, wooing some girl off her feet.

_Did my heart love 'til now? Forswear its sight. For I never saw true beauty 'til this night._

I'd really enjoyed English Literature last term so the lines popped effortlessly into my head. I wasn't her, but when Simon found his Juliet his forgotten love would probably be me. It seemed kind of fitting and right. Simon more than anyone deserved to find a perfect Juliet. Then again, _Romeo & Juliet _was too much of a tragedy. If anything two star-crossed lovers with a terrible fate described Jellal and I much better. Or maybe not. I'd keep waiting for our 'looking through the fish tank' moment but it would never come. He couldn't see me the way I wanted him to. I mean I'd confessed, put all my feelings out there for him to see and had to deal with the stress when he didn't give me a straight answer. Or any answer at all for that matter. Then I'd taken my clothes off, literally baring it all to him in a last ditch attempt to try and seduce him because I wanted him so much and what had it gotten me? Nothing but humiliation and misery and heartache and a near insurmountable level of awkwardness with my closest friend.

And a kiss.

One perfect, beautiful, heart-stopping kiss... if I ignored our drunken ordeal on Mira's bed. And I was more than happy to forget the events of that night. In fact, why didn't I go ahead and forget everything? Forget the way his eyes followed me tonight, forget the horrible things that had been said in our fight two days ago, forget all the other nonsense we'd been through the last five weeks including that stupid, ill-fated confession letter. I never should have written that thing. Perhaps I should ask for it back, if Jellal still had it, then I could burn it and be done with this particular unhappy phase in my life. A nice act of closure so I could stop clinging onto a boy who didn't want me. Would never want me. The truth was here before me. I'd overcomplicated our relationship way too much and, if Jellal's sadness tonight was anything to go by, it was making not just me, but both of us miserable. Jellal was my best friend. If asking for more destroyed all of that then I didn't want it.

_For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo._

Yes. I didn't want him to be my Romeo if it ended like that. My feelings for Jellal had to die. I would box them up, seal them away, suppress them deep down until they were nothing more than a dim memory of something stupid I'd felt once. Even the memory of that kiss had to be thrown away. Nothing should remain to tie me too closely to him. For a moment my heart protested, still longing for that intimate level of closeness to exist between us. To feel his strong arms around me, holding me like I was precious to him, like I was special. Like he loved me.

Pointless foolishness. I hated that he could make me feel this way. Titania was a nickname I'd certainly lose if I kept acting like such a damn softie. I was stronger than this. I could ignore these feelings until they went away. Abandon the memory of his hands caressing my body and sweet kisses that left the taste of him on my lips. That moment was an anomaly in our relationship that'd be best left unmentioned from now on. I would definitely forget it, if only to salvage what remained of my friendship with Jellal.

I would create such a strong adamantine armour around my heart it'd become indestructible.

Simon started the car and pulled slowly out of the drive. "You look like you've just made a major life decision."

"Maybe I have." I gazed out at the night stars and silenced my weak heart. It would take awhile to fully heal but for the first time in weeks, I felt a little like my old self. After all, what was love if not overrated?


	10. Falling To Pieces

_A/N: So the letter has finally been found! Now our Juliet is 'faking her death' and our Romeo is 'coming to see her one last time'. Is there a tragedy in the making?_

_I do not own Fairy Tail_

_Chapter Ten – Falling To Pieces_

I ran for the school gates. Half of me felt completely euphoric. I loved Erza and she loved me, or so I hoped. As unbelievable as it had once seemed, after the years spent together as friends and all the denials, we had fallen in love with each other. Being voted the couple most likely to get married and live happily ever after no longer seemed like a twisted joke engineered by a cruel fate. But I was getting way ahead of myself with that thought. I had to set things straight between us first.

So, the other half of me was terrified. I'd hurt her, badly. It hadn't been intentional, far from it, but still, what if she'd given up on us? After all this time, what if she didn't want me anymore? I had to find her. Explain to her properly that all this confusion was nothing but a huge mistake. She had to understand that given a second chance we could make this work. No matter what it took, I would _make_ her understand. If simple words weren't enough, then I'd take her to bed and show her exactly how much I loved her.

At the school gates I hesitated and looked both ways. Which way? Right led up the long, winding hill that eventually split into two. Down the right hand path would be the girls' dorm. Down the left hand path the boys dorm. They were divided by thick woods which probably had seemed like a good idea to whoever built the dorms but those very trees had become a hiding place for many an illicit meeting. Left from the school gates lead into the quiet residential area surrounding the school and beyond that into busier and busier neighbourhoods until you reached downtown Magnolia. I could see the sparkling lights in the distance. It was nearing one in the morning and Magnolia's night scene was buzzing. If he was taking her home then they would have gone right but… no one went home this early on prom night unless they were planning on continuing the party at home. Together. In a bed.

No way.

I reached for my phone and dialled her number from memory. It didn't even ring, just went straight to voicemail. I started jogging up the hill. Maybe I could catch up with them before Erza did something stupid. Her virginity was no longer hers to give away. It damn well belonged to me and there'd be hell to pay if that idiot Simon put even a single hand on her. I only made it maybe fifty feet before realizing that Simon's house was much closer than the dorms. Shit. What if he took her there? I scrolled though my address book and found his number. It rang and rang.

"Hey-"

"Simon! Where-"

"-This is Simon. Leave a message after the beep."

I hung up. Thought for a moment then dialled a number Erza would probably kick my ass for later. But hell, it'd be worth it.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice said.

"Hey, Wendy-chan. I'm so sorry to wake you. It's Jellal."

"Onii-san? Is everything okay?"

"Listen carefully. I need you to do me a favour. Look out the front door and tell me if you see anyone coming up the hill."

"Hai."

Bless. Wendy was so damn cute. I felt really bad waking her up but I was desperate. My only thought was that I had to find Erza as soon as possible. On the phone there was a soft thump.

"You okay?" The poor girl was beyond clumsy, to the point of it being ridiculous.

"I tripped. I'm okay. Eto… there's nobody there. Everyone is still at prom. Even Laki."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"Uh huh."

"Alright. Don't worry about it. Go back to bed. I'll buy you something nice to make up for this."

I hung up, reversed direction and headed for Simon's house. I hadn't been there in ages. As I jogged, I re-dialled his number.

* * *

Simon had the radio on. It was set to some easy listening station which alternated between playing soft jazz or classical compositions and the commentator discussing problems that people wrote or called in about. Having recently covered the gory details of some messy divorce involving the cheating soon to be ex-husband, the pissed off soon to be ex-wife and the backstabbing ex-best friend soon to be new wife, I think even the commentator was pleased to move on to a soothing piano concerto. The soft chords filled the car. I felt myself drifting a little, the motion of the car and the music lulling me to sleep.

A buzzing noise interrupted the pleasant atmosphere. I opened my eyes, "Is that your phone again?"

"Sorry. You look so peaceful and that's the second time it's gone off. I don't know who could be trying to ring me at this time of night. It's probably a drunk call off one of my friends."

"Do you want me to answer it?"

"No. It's in the pocket of my trousers. Whoever it is will just have to wait till we get out of the car."

I nodded and leaned back. It couldn't be that important.

* * *

Simon still wasn't answering. I peered up at the windows of his house. The security light flickered on but all the indoor lights were off. I searched through my memories of the many times I'd been here when I was younger. Decided on a window. Found a few small pebbles and sent them sailing up, one at a time, to tap against the glass. Nothing. Rang him again. Still no answer. I was starting to feel stressed. I left a rather terse voicemail detailing exactly what I would do to him if I found out anything had happened between my girlfriend and him. Not my proudest moment but it was done and I couldn't take the words back.

Nevermind the fact that Erza wasn't actually my girlfriend. Yet.

I thought about banging on the front door but while it was one thing to wake up Wendy in the early hours of the morning, it was quite another to disturb someone's sleeping parents. Plus Simon's little sister, Kagura, put a capital B onto the word Bitch like it was an Olympic sport. The girl had it in for me for some reason. I have no idea why. So I ditched that idea and was preparing to throw another stone when a light went on in the house next door. A little old lady stuck her head out the upstairs window. "Young man, what exactly is it that you're doing?"

Great. A busybody neighbour. "I'm just looking for my friend, Simon. This is his house right?"

"Yes but he's not home. He left a while ago with a pretty girl in his father's car. I dare say they're sneaking off to do something _immoral. _Young people these days don't know how to act decent. Including you. It's one o'clock in the morning. Go home and stop disturbing the peace!" She slammed the window shut.

* * *

"Arigato," I bowed politely to the lady.

"No problem, dear. People leave things all the time. I'm glad we could return it to you."

I thanked her again and we left the taxi office. Opening my clutch I dragged out my phone only to discover that the battery was dead. My face must have fallen big time because Simon immediately pulled his phone out and handed it to me.

"I'm such an idiot. I should have let you call him with my phone right from the beginning."

"You're not an idiot, Simon. I didn't think to ask you either. You've been so good to me tonight. Thank you so much for being a fantastic prom date and an even more fantastic friend." I couldn't quite tell in the semi-darkness of the street but I think he might have been blushing.

He scratched the back of his head, "Anytime for you, Erza."

I smiled at him and unlocked his phone. It popped up with four new voicemails, thirteen missed calls and eleven text messages. All from the same person. I raised my eyebrows.

"What is it?"

"The person who has been ringing you is Jellal."

"Ah. He's probably looking for you."

"For me…" I murmured then opened the first text message.

_Where are you?_

_Are you with Erza?_

_Did you take Erza home?_

_Please, this is important. I need to find her._

_I swear. If you've taken her anywhere dodgy I'll kill you._

_Sorry. I know you're a decent guy. Answer when I call alright?_

_No really. I might actually kill you if you're alone with my girl right now._

Weird. Each message sounded more and more desperate than the last. And that one I'd just read. I felt my cheeks burn. My silly heart started thumping away at the thought of Jellal calling me 'his girl' again. Simon peeked over my shoulder.

"Whoa. Sounds like he thinks you and I are up to no good."

"What? No way. Why would he even care if we were?" I blushed even harder.

"Well, even if you broke up I guess he still feels strongly for you."

"Broke up? We didn't break up."

Simon looked surprised. "I thought that was why you agreed to go to prom with me. I wouldn't have asked if I knew you were still dating him. Oh man, Jellal probably hates me right now. So what, you guys just been taking a little break for the last month or something?"

I hadn't realized that the awkwardness between Jellal and I had been obvious enough for everyone to notice. Then again he'd called me a whore in front of thirty or so people two days ago. That kind of juicy gossip gets around school pretty fast, death threats from Cana or not. "No. I mean, we aren't together at all. We never have been." _And never will be, _the cynical voice in my head couldn't help adding.

Simon smiled gently at me, "I know you guys like to keep your relationship on the down low but maybe that's the problem. You should be more honest with your feelings." He gestured at his phone. "He's going crazy looking for you because he doesn't want you to be with anyone else. He still loves you. You two should get back together."

I looked at Simon like he had just announced with all seriousness that the moon was made of blue cheese. "You've got us all wrong."

Everyone did. As long as I could remember people had thought Jellal and I were a couple. If only we were. _Stop it!_ I had decided to forget those thoughts. There would be no going back everytime someone made a throw away comment about us being good together. _Adamantine heart, adamantine heart, _I repeated silently to myself. It was my new mantra to help me remember that Jellal and I were friends. The closest of childhood friends. No more and no less. And right now something was obviously upsetting him, but what could Jellal possibly be so anxious about? And why was he trying so hard to find me? I went to open the next message and the phone vibrated in my hands. _Jellal _flashed across the screen. I pressed to answer it and was raising the phone to my ear when someone grabbed my wrist.

* * *

The words of that busybody old lady really struck a chord with me. Simon had taken Erza somewhere in his car and it obviously hadn't been home to the girls dorms. I had this sick feeling in my stomach, imagining them in some seedy motel on the outskirts of town. His hands on her curves, tongue on her skin... For Simon' sake I hoped that wasn't the case. I would kill him if it was true. Erza was mine. My initially jealousy had morphed into a sense of possession that was nearly archaic. Any half decent feminist would have a heart attack at the thoughts going through my head. Because as far as I was concerned no other man should dare even look at her ever again. She belonged with me. Only me.

For what felt like the billionth time in five minutes I tried Simon's number. The call connected. I could hardly believe it. "Simon-" There was a loud thump and I pulled the phone away from my ear to make sure he was there. He was. "Simon, are you with Erza?" Silence then a muffled moan.

I felt my blood run cold. They couldn't be. _Could they?_

More muffled noise. Another moan. Simon's voice, "You're amazing." I think my heart stopped.

Erza sounding excited, "You're pretty good yourself." This couldn't be happening.

"Well this isn't my first time." It might be your last though.

"Really? I can tell." Oh fuck no.

A small pause, more muffled sounds and then clear as a bell Erza again, "Do you think it will fit?"

"Erza!" I screamed down the phone, "Don't do this!"

* * *

I could not believe some idiotic thugs had actually tried to mug us. The moment the opportunist thief grabbed my wrist I'd reacted without thinking. I seized his forearm and twisted, breaking his hold on me. Stepping to one side, I used his forward momentum to throw him to the ground with an easy hip throw. Within seconds I had him pinned, his arm twisted painfully behind his back. The guy couldn't even speak. He moaned and threw desperate pleading glances my way. I almost felt sorry for him. I mean he didn't stand a chance against me, after all the years I'd spent training at the dojo. The sudden adrenaline rush had my heart pumping. I looked across at Simon who had his own assailant subdued.

He sent a cheeky grin my way, "You're amazing."

I couldn't help but grin back, "You're pretty good yourself."

His grin turned into a small grimace, "Well, this isn't my first time."

"Really? I can tell," I was a little surprised, not because of his skill level, but because Simon was a big guy. Why the hell would people come after him? For the challenge maybe? I stood up and slammed a fist into the solar plexus of the guy I was holding. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. Confident that he wasn't going anywhere, I scouted around and found Simon's phone. With a piece missing and a pretty bad crack down the centre of the blank screen. Damn it.

Simon wedged his knee into the back of the other guy and gestured. I looked where he pointed and found the missing piece. I brought both parts over to him. It was only cosmetic, the cracked screen was worse, but I still felt bad about it. "Do you think it will fit?"

He had a look. "Yeah. They're designed to go together. Hold on." He smacked the slightly struggling would-be mugger in the back of the head and the guys' head actually bounced off the sidewalk.

"That's going to hurt," I said, a little concerned that maybe we'd been a bit rough with them. Then again, they deserved it. These guys were going to rue the day they ever thought a couple of high school teens would be easy prey. As student council president I was pleased that out of everyone they'd run into me. With the lesson learned, and the bruises to prove it, I doubted they'd try a stunt like this again which meant the streets of Magnolia were that much safer for all the other students.

"Don't worry. It won't hurt that much. I know what I'm doing." Simon took the two pieces and with a little bit of effort forced them back together. "See, it fits."

* * *

So this was Armageddon. The end of the world as I knew it. Right here. Right now. Standing on the street outside of Simon's house with the nosy neighbour probably watching on, I listened as my world fell to pieces. The girl I loved was getting fucked by some other guy and they sounded so clinical and matter of fact about it. Like it meant nothing. Maybe it didn't mean anything. I'd rejected her and now she was rebounding with someone else. Which wasn't something the Erza I knew would do at all. But of course it wouldn't be a rebound for her. It would mean something. Be the start of something new, something real, a proper relationship with someone who loved her. Someone who wasn't me.

I'd blown it. Everything I could ever wish for in a girlfriend had been there, within easy reach, right in front of my eyes all along. Perfect happiness, wrapped up in this one amazing girl who understood me like no one else did. And I'd let her slip away from me. That tight feeling in my chest came back with a vengeance.

I suppose I should have hated Simon. But, despite all my earlier feelings, I didn't. I couldn't. He didn't have a damn thing to do with all the bullshit that'd been going on between Erza and me. True, it should have been me she was with. The fact that it wasn't was… I don't even know whose fault. Mine, I guess, for not realising sooner how important Erza was to me.

Cana's words came back to haunt me. _You're going to regret taking her for granted. I guarantee it. _I wondered if Cana would approve of Simon as a boyfriend for Erza. Probably. He'd take good care of her. Love and respect her. Never hurt her. Hold her close and...

On second thought I might murder him after all.

Would Erza hate me if I beat the crap out of her new boyfriend? Probably, but I'd rather she hate me than have to watch her be with someone else. He couldn't have her. I'd never give Erza up, never let her go. It wasn't even an option. She was my girl. It didn't matter if she had decided to move on. In a single heartbeat, I took a massive leap straight into the _'If I can't have her no one can'_ state of mind that I'd been trying so hard to suppress. Erza had it all wrong after all. She had made this choice thinking that I didn't love her. When actually there was no way Simon or any other man could ever love her the way I did. Or hurt her the way I did. But that had been a misunderstanding. If she knew the truth she wouldn't have done this. Right? _Right? _Isn't there that saying that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else? The image that thought produced had me spiralling right back towards depression and feeling that I should just let it be. It was over. No way was this thing with Simon a one night stand.

_Erza... How could you do this to me?_ Wait, that thought was way out of line. I would go fucking crazy thinking about her, about us and what could have been, should have been but would never be now. Fuck my life. I couldn't deal with this shit. Just couldn't. She was meant to be with me and now.. and now... _What the hell was I supposed to do now?_

There was a clatter and I realised I'd dropped my phone. I stared down, debating if I should pick it up or not. A cold numbness was creeping over me and things seemed not to matter so much any more but I figured I should at least disconnect the call. I knelt down and heard a crinkling noise. Erza's confession letter in the jacket pocket of my suit. I pulled out the slightly crumpled page.

_I want us to kiss and maybe do other things. I can't believe I just wrote that! I'm blushing like crazy right now but if it's you then I think I'm ready for, well, you know, it. _

She said it was selfish, greedy, to have all those wants. I had to disagree because they weren't wants at all. They were needs. Holding hands, talking about anything, being closer than ever, sharing a love that was deep and true. I needed all those things and so much more with her but somehow I'd ended up with nothing. Nothing except this hollow emptiness in my heart. I tilted my head back to gaze at the sky. Not a single cloud. Still it must have started raining. How else could I explain the drops of moisture dampening the page?


	11. Just A Kiss

_A/N: After the (fantastic) reviews of the last chapter the management of this story would like it noted that the author accepts no responsibility for broken household items - desks, plates, computer screens, patience, wills to live etc. - caused by the ridiculous level of misunderstanding in any particular chapter. That said - Hide the good china..._

_I do not own Fairy Tail._

_Chapter Eleven – Just A Kiss _

The moment the two broken pieces of Simon's phone clicked together the screen flared back into life. Unbelievably, the call to Jellal was still connected. I took the phone back from Simon. "Hello?" I tried but there was only silence and when I pulled the phone away, the screen had turned black again. I couldn't help feeling disappointed. I guess I would have to send Jellal a text as soon as I could charge up my phone but it seemed likely that we wouldn't be able to speak until the morning. I felt a flicker of concern. He'd seemed pretty desperate to find me. I hoped he was okay.

"I think we need to call the police," Simon said.

"Yeah but with what? Your phone is broken and mine has no battery."

Simon started to rifle through the guy's clothes. "Thought so. Take your pick," he said and pulled out three different phones. Clearly these idiots were having a good night. "I bet they usually rush up to unsuspecting victims, snatch the phones right out of their hands and then run off."

"Disgusting." I didn't feel sorry for roughing them up any more. I chose a phone at random and made the call.

* * *

I left my phone lying in the street outside Simon's house. There was no reason to keep it. My life was over. Yet for some bizarre reason no one else seemed aware of this fact. The world kept spinning on, as if everything was okay. Apparently the sun would still rise in a few hours, right on schedule. Who knew?

Post personal apocalypse, with nowhere else to go, I wandered back to the school. Big mistake. All these damn couples kept appearing everywhere. Was everyone in Magnolia but me getting laid tonight? Fucking hell. It had never bothered me before but watching all these loved up people was truly nauseating.

First, I had the great misfortune of finding Gray with his tongue in Juvia's mouth at the school gates. I debated intervening. That particular hook up would only end one way. Namely, Juvia waking up alone with Gray MIA. I'd like to think Gray would stick around for a girl so obviously head over heels in love with him but I doubted it. The guy was as cold as ice when it came to serious relationships. I could already imagine the waves this scandal would create in our little band of friends. Still, probably not as shocking as Erza and...

"Will you two get a fucking room!"

Gray came up for air and blinked at me, oblivious to my dark mood. "That's a great idea," he said. They sauntered off in the direction of the dorms, Gray's hands all over Juvia's ass. She looked like she'd just won the fucking lottery. Bitch.

Exasperated, I kept heading in the direction of the gym. I needed a fucking drink. What I got instead was Gajeel and Levy having an argument. Trouble in paradise? Of course not.

"I can walk by myself!" She insisted.

"You said two minutes ago that those heels are hurting you. Stop being so stubborn," he said back.

"I'm wearing a dress."

"It's past one in the morning. No one will see."

"I'm too heavy."

"Now you're just being ridiculous."

I think this fell definitively within the realm of what Millianna would call 'cute'. Gajeel was always doing these stupid little things for Levy that didn't suit his rough and tumble outer appearance at all. They were such opposites and they'd hated each other when he first transferred to Magnolia High. Now look at them. What I wouldn't give to have these kind of couple moments with...

"For fucks sake! Just let him fucking carry you!"

They both looked up in surprise at my sudden outburst. Gajeel recovered first, "That's what I've been saying all along." Levy gathered up the shimmery fabric of her dress and used a hair tie to secure it in a loose knot just above her knees. Gajeel knelt down and she climbed onto his back. I couldn't help thinking that I used to give Erza piggyback rides like that all the time when we were kids.

"I'm heavy right?"

"Not at all."

"Did I flash you Jellal?"

"No," I lied. I had thought it impossible for things to get any worse but being beaten up by Gajeel tonight would definitely be defined as 'worse'.

"See you later," they said, perfectly in sync. _What the hell? Who the fuck does that? _Oh right, Erza and I used to, literally all the time. They left, Gajeel humming tunelessly, Levy's head resting on his shoulder. Yet another happy couple thanks to my marriage counselling. I should start charging.

Fuck. I really needed that drink.

In the gym the Macarena was playing. It was so hot and sweaty, I almost turned around and walked straight back out but I hadn't come this far to leave empty handed. I crossed the darkened room, dodging waving arms and shaking hips to grab a glass of punch. Which was promptly knocked out of my hand by an over-enthusiastic Natsu.

"Jellal! Where the hell have you been? Is this not the best night ever?" He yelled over the music and people chanting 'Aaay Macarena!'. Lucy appeared at his side, all giggly and excited. I stood there, punch dripping all over my hand, as they threw their arms around each other like they hadn't seen one another in a hundred years.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people! This is the worse fucking night of my entire fucking life and every single one of you is fucking pissing me the fuck off!"

Natsu stared at me. "Dude. Relax. Going for the world record on using the f-word in a single sentence or something?"

"Are you okay, Jellal?" Lucy asked, her arms still draped around Natsu's neck. "Did you have another fight with Erza?"

Something in me snapped. It was probably for the best that the torrent of emotions I felt at that moment rendered me speechless. I was PMS-ing worse than any girl. My mental state swinging wildly between angry and depressed so fast I could hardly keep up with myself. I needed to get away from them, from everyone, from the world, from life. I could not deal with this shit. And the one person who could understand how I felt right now was doing heaven only knows what with that bastard Simon. _Oh god_, why was I back to thinking about that? Fuck my fucking life...

* * *

All things considered the police were really understanding and perhaps a little impressed. Since it was prom night they didn't drag Simon and me down to the station for statements. They recorded the basics of what happened and asked us to come in on Monday to submit a proper report. Even so, it was still a good forty five minutes before we were finally back in Simon's car.

"Do you want to go back to the party?" he asked.

"No. It's practically over anyway and I'm dead tired. I'm sorry about your phone."

"Don't worry about it. I've got insurance. Should I take you home?"

"If you don't mind."

The easy listening radio station was back on. Some teenage girl was bemoaning the fact that her crush didn't reciprocate her feelings. I listened as the low, smooth voice of the commentator told her she was still young and had plenty of time to find 'the one'. I hoped he was right. If I was giving up on Jellal that meant there was someone out there who'd be perfect for me in a way that he wasn't. I couldn't quite believe that yet.

Simon stopped the car outside the dorm and insisted on walking me up the stairs, onto the porch and right to the front door. We stood there now, my keys jangling in my hand. It felt like that awkward moment in movies when the guy leans in for a kiss. Weird. "Thanks again for tonight," I said.

"It's certainly been memorable. I'll see you around," he said, "And Erza..."

"Yeah?" I had my hand on the door handle, key poised and ready.

"I'm happy I got this one night with you. But what you and Jellal have is really special. Don't let it go."

I let out an exasperated sigh, "There is nothing special about my relationship with Jellal! We're friends. Give us a break please!"

Simon put his hands in his pockets and I turned to face him. We needed to settle this once and for all.

"So you're really not dating?" He scuffed one foot against the wooden decking.

"No."

"Have never dated?"

"No and we never will." _Ouch._ Slight twinge of pain but I'd get over it. I didn't have any other choice.

"Then... Do you like anyone?"

"No." The lie came easily. I figured if I said it enough, eventually it would come true.

"What about me?"

"What?" I was genuinely shocked. That question was completely out of the blue. I thought I'd made in obvious earlier that I didn't return his feelings. But I hadn't said it explicitly, had I?

Simon looked intently into my eyes, "Well, do you dislike me?"

A trick question. "Uh no. I don't dislike you but you know umm..." I stuttered. I was obviously wandering into some kind of intricate trap but I wasn't sure how to steer this conversation into safer territory.

Simon was back to looking at his feet. "Ah hell. This is way out of line and I know you don't want to date me but I've liked you for a long time Erza. Taking you to prom was the best thing to ever happen to me. If you really don't like anyone and you don't hate me then is it okay for me to kiss you?"

_Oh shit._

* * *

I felt like shit. Since abandoning the party, I'd been aimlessly wandering. No destination or purpose in mind. Walking simply to walk. If Magnolia had been a more dangerous city I might have run into some trouble. Maybe I'd been subconsciously looking for trouble. Sensei would have a fit if he thought I was intentionally going out of my way to use my skills to beat up unsuspecting bad guys but no enemies of justice appeared. They were all busy accosting someone else I guess. So I walked and walked. Eventually my feet took me home but I was restless and somehow they led me here. Outside the girls dorm. Which was pointless. Erza wasn't here. She was most likely curled up next to Simon in post-coital bliss. _Don't think about it Jellal. Just don't._

I leaned back against the banister that surrounded the porch. I don't know what I was expecting. To sit here and wait until she came home in the morning? If I was the first person she saw maybe she'd want to tell me all about it. A full retelling of her first time. It was the kind of thing a girl would tell her best friend. And it would double up as proof that she was over me. That our love was dead and her relationship with Simon just beginning.

I let my head fall back and sighed deep. I wondered... Had it been like this with her all these long weeks? I hoped not. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. _What to do, what to do?_ There was no obvious answer. I couldn't deal with Erza dating Simon but I had no confidence that I could get her back after I'd screwed up so badly. Could a person die of a broken heart? Probably not but I'd sure put the theory to the test. Fuck. This was so depressing.

A car pulled up and the lights swung over me. One of the girls coming home. I checked my watch. Ten past two. How I'd made it through the last hour, I had no idea. How I would face the next few hours, never mind the coming days and weeks without Erza was beyond me. It hit me then that I was bone tired, exhausted right to my very core. Maybe whoever had come home wouldn't mind letting me crash on the couch in the living room. Now that Erza was presumably happy dating Simon none of the girls had any reason to keep hating me. I dragged myself onto my feet and made my way sullenly to the front of the house.

* * *

_Say what?_ _Kiss me? _I opened my mouth for an immediate negative response. I didn't feel that way about Simon. But the way he stood there, looking down at his feet, hands in his pockets, hopeful but hesitant made the knee-jerk rejection die in my throat. Of course I wasn't in love with him but I didn't hate him either and, judging by the way he phrased the question, he knew it would be a simple kiss and nothing else. He only wanted that little bit of happiness. Hell, didn't we all? How many times had I hoped for a kiss from Jellal before I finally got one worth remembering?

And no matter how much I wanted to forget this whole phase that one kiss had made all the pain worth it. I could move on, become content with being just friends with Jellal, eventually fall in love with somebody else and make a million new memories but that kiss would always be special. Mainly because it had made me happier than I'd ever thought possible, if only for that moment.

"Okay," I heard myself say.

"Seriously?" Simon's head snapped up and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah. It's just one kiss. You won't get any funny ideas right?"

"No, never. Not a single funny idea. I know it will just be a one off thing." Even as he said the words his whole face lit up. That was what I was talking about. That singular moment of happiness that a person could look back on later and say 'it didn't work out but we did share one hell of a kiss'. It was written all over his face. Simon was a good friend. I could at least give him this.

I stepped towards him and rested my hands on his shoulders. It was more than a little weird but whatever. This was just an innocent kiss right? Simon hadn't moved so I tiptoed and leaned into him. It was just a kiss. His arms came around me. Just a kiss. He closed his eyes. A kiss...

My heart balked, screamed at me that this was ludicrous, that I shouldn't do it, but he was leaning down to meet me and it was too late to back out now. I squeezed my eyes shut and Jellal was right there, my heart and head so full of him that there was no room for anyone else. It felt like I was cheating on him. I tried not to tense up in Simon's arms and hoped it'd be over fast.

* * *

Silent as a lonely ghost I climbed the steps up to the front door. Looked up. Counted the seconds it took me to take in the scene.

One... A moonlit night.

Two... A couple holding each other close.

Three... A single tear rolling slowly down Erza's cheek.

Four... I punched Simon in the face. There was a sickening crunch of breaking cartilage. He stumbled backwards, blood trickling from his nose. Serves him right. It took years for me to bring Erza to tears and he'd managed it in one fucking night. Bastard. He was going to pay for this.

As soon as I managed to get up.

* * *

"Oh my god!" _What the hell had just happened?_ I had Simon on my right, leaning against the front door, most likely with a broken nose from the sound of things, and Jellal pinned beneath me. Because I'd decked him. Obviously not on purpose! I don't know. The run in with the muggers had me on high alert and Jellal had appeared so suddenly... I reacted without thinking. At least I'd recognized him almost immediately and switched to a less painful aikido move. Still, our skill levels were more or less equal so he should have been able to counter it. But he was so tensed up I doubted he'd even thought of it.

"How many times tonight am I going to have to do this?" I looked up and directed the question at the sky. This had to be the most bizarre prom night ever.

"Get off me now so I can kill that bastard," Jellal growled.

"Uh... No. Why did you do that anyway?" Not that I wasn't grateful. I really hadn't wanted to kiss Simon. I didn't really want him to end up with a broken nose either. In any case it was good to see Jellal but wasn't a knight in shining armour supposed to be, I don't know, kind of suave about these sort of rescues?

"You're crying. I swear, if he hurt you in anyway Erza I'll-" He tried to get up and I had to use all my upper body strength to keep him on the ground.

"Relax, Jellal. He didn't hurt me but you definitely hurt him. Are you okay Simon?"

"I guess. I suppose I deserved that," he mumbled with a look at me that said clear as day _'like hell you're not dating'. _

I blushed, "I'm so sorry Simon. I don't know why he did that. Why did you do that?" I asked for the second time because the first answer had been so ludicrous.

"Erza. I saw you crying. Don't tell me you weren't. He deserves everything he gets just for that."

I twisted his arm a bit and he winced. While he was distracted I raised one hand to my face and wiped my cheek. I guess I had been crying. The realisation made me hate myself a little bit more. I was so deep in love with Jellal that I couldn't even kiss another guy. Stupid, silly girl. I really had to find a way to let go of all this weakness.

"I wasn't crying," Mavis, I was tuning into a compulsive liar. "I'm going to let you up now. Simon hasn't done anything to me tonight that I didn't want him to do. So chill okay?"

His whole body tensed up at my words, then relaxed and when I shifted away from him he didn't move. So I shuffled across the deck and had a look at Simon.

* * *

That was a lie. She had been crying. I know what I saw and I hadn't like it. Not one bit. I sat up slowly and tried to control my temper. As long as Erza was here I'd have to be content with sending Simon death threats with my eyes. This would have been so much easier if she was the kind of girl that stood to one side and squealed _'Ah stop! Don't fight over me!'_ whilst secretly loving it. But she wasn't like that. I'd never heard Erza squeal in my entire life. And she wouldn't let anyone fight her battles for her. Erza was independent and feisty and a complete handful but that's why I loved her so much. I wouldn't change a damn thing about her... except what she was doing right now.

She was on her knees in front of Simon, her hands cradling his face while she examined his nose. It was definitely broken. I couldn't help but feel smug about that even as my own hand throbbed from the impact. She leaned towards him and I panicked, thinking she was about to try and kiss him again. I scrambled across the wooden decking and yanked her backwards. She tumbled into my lap with a little gasp. Her hair had been pulled up into this elaborate bun but it tumbled down, cascading down her back and over my shoulder, a multitude of pins falling onto the porch with soft tinkling sounds. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tightly. Breathed deep and all I could smell was her coconut shampoo. Fuck giving up. Erza was mine. "We need to talk," I muttered into the back of her neck.

* * *

Did we ever. What the hell was Jellal up to? He was clinging all over me like I was a lifeline. Not that I was complaining. His warm breath tickled my neck and his strong arms around my waist felt good. I relaxed for a moment against his chest. We hadn't seen each other all day, although it felt more like a lifetime, and we certainly hadn't been this comfortable around each other in a long time. It would be good to go back to being close friends. I missed him hugging me and playing with my hair and being normal around me. Now if only I could get my heart to slow down things would be exactly as they had been before.

"I should go," said Simon abruptly. Or at least I think that's what he said. His voice was all warped and funny sounding because of his injury.

"Yes, you should," said Jellal and I elbowed him. There was no need for him to use that nasty tone of voice.

Simon got to his feet and I struggled to get out of Jellal's grasp but his grip on me only tightened. "Don't go Simon. You need to ice that right away. Let go Jellal."

"No," he said, as petulant as a spoiled child. Geez, what was with him?

"Fine then don't. But can we at least all go to the kitchen? I'll get some ice for your hand too." This seemed to appease him because the vice-like hold on me lessened and we stood up together. Jellal kept his hands on my waist as I opened the front door. And walked through the lobby. And down the hall. And into the kitchen. "Okay. You really need to let go now." I was certain my face must be beet red and it was nearly impossible to move around with him holding me so close. "Come on, Jellal. Just sit here okay?" I peeled his hands off me and forced him onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

Jellal sat there sulkily, his eyes tracking my every step as I moved around the kitchen. I wrapped a bag of frozen peas in a tea towel and handed it to Simon who was sat cautiously on another stool leaving four empty spaces between him and Jellal. He looked like he expected Jellal to pounce on him any minute. "He won't hurt you. It was a mistake and he's very sorry. Aren't you Jellal?" I prompted him.

"I might. It wasn't and I'm not."

I glared at him. "You broke his nose. The least you can do is apologise."

"He deserved it Erza. He's damn lucky you're here or I'd pound him into oblivion."

* * *

She sighed and placed a wrapped bag of frozen carrots on my hand. "I don't understand Jellal. What's going on with you today? You rang Simon like a million times and then when you finally see him you punch him in the face straight off the bat."

"I was looking for you, not this idiot and he should have answered his damn phone," I scowled at Simon. It was wasted though, because there was no way he could see me with that bag of peas held to his face.

"We were kind of busy," Simon mumbled and I stood up so fast that the stool clattered onto the kitchen tiles. This guy was fucking asking to die tonight saying things like that.

Erza jumped between us, one hand on my chest. "Sit down. Now. I'm not even joking Jellal. I've had the most crazy night as it is. Stop being so aggressive."

"He started it," I picked up the stool and sat. I knew Erza well enough to know that if I didn't she would make me.

"I'm going to go before I get hit again." Simon said, "I'm sorry Jellal. What I did was out of line. But seriously, you two need to sort your shit out. Then things like this wouldn't happen."

"I told you Simon. We're not-"

"Whatever Erza. You obviously are. If you're going to use me to make your boyfriend jealous it'd be nice to know ahead of time so I could decide not to be involved in your little games."

_Whoa. What?_ _Fucking_ _what?_ The reality hit me hard. Erza fucking lost her virginity to this guy for no fucking reason whatsoever other than to piss me off. If she was in love with Simon then that was one thing, if she was trying to get over me then fine, but going out of her way to do this just to make me jealous?

Oh fuck no.

"You did all this to make me jealous? I cannot believe you! This is... " Words failed me as I struggled to come to terms with this new revelation. I was beginning to see that this was some devious plot, probably engineered by all of Erza's little girlfriends, to teach me a lesson. No fucking way did she come up with a bullshit idea like this on her own. Fuck, why did it have to be this? The stunt with the shorts was fair play but this? Fucking this?

"This is fucking unbelievable! Couldn't you wait like two fucking minutes for me to find you tonight!" I yelled at Erza. I'd been so close to finding her and confessing that I loved her. All she had to do was stay outside the gym for two more fucking minutes and everything would have been perfect. Fucking perfect. We could have been so happy together. Instead she gave up so easily what should have been mine for such a stupid, petty reason. She wanted jealous? I hoped she was prepared for fucking angry as hell.

"And you!" I whirled on Simon. "If you had just answered your damn phone none of this would have happened. You turned my girlfriend into a fucking whore!"

"I said I'm sorry! And nothing even happened!" Simon held his hands up and stepped back. He was going to have to step into another country to feel safe from me even if it seemed he was an unknowing participant in whatever the hell was going on. Nothing would ever change the fact that he'd fucked my girl.

I turned back to Erza, "How could you do this to me? How could you? You think this is some kind of game? How the fuck am I supposed to look at you now after what you've done?" I was screaming at her. It honestly felt like she'd cheated on me.

* * *

"Jellal, don't be so angry. Nothing happened." _What the fuck was going on?_ I'd never seen him so angry before. He'd called me his girlfriend and a whore all in the same sentence. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad but I was definitely confused. Had Jellal really fallen in love with me? That was the only reason I could think of for why he'd be so upset. He was still overreacting though. Simon and I hadn't even kissed but he was behaving like I'd slept with the guy.

"Don't fucking lie to me! I heard you on the phone! I can't believe this." He was pacing up and down, the fury emanating from him almost palpable.

_On the phone? _Okay, I was even more confused. "With those other guys?"

His eyes went dark, "Others? There were others? How many? Oh my fucking god! Who are you? Just who the fuck are you? I don't even know you!"

* * *

Zeref help me. This girl really had turned into a whore. Was this my fault? Had I really made her do this? Fuck. This was the worst day of my entire life. I was right back on the street outside Simon's house and I could hear my heart breaking all over again with each and every damning word that came out of Erza's mouth.

"I think you're misunderstanding something. It wasn't like that," she said.

Simon lowered the bag of peas and managed a smile, "It was pretty amazing to watch actually."

_He watched? _That was the final straw. Fuck playing nice. This bastard was going down. I crossed the room in a matter of seconds and lashed out at him.

Simon must have a guardian angel riding on his shoulder tonight because instead of breaking his jaw like I wanted to, my fist collided with the bag of peas he held out. The bag exploded outwards, frozen green orbs bouncing all over the kitchen and tiny crystal flakes of ice dusting through the air like a snow globe. Yeah well, let's see if this bastard's luck held out.

"Wait, just wait, Jellal. Can't we talk about this? It wasn't a big deal!" Simon dropped the remaining plastic tatters of the bag and backed away from me but I was done talking.

* * *

This, whatever _this _was, had escalated totally out of control. I knew better that anyone exactly what Jellal was capable of and if I didn't do something Simon would end up with way worse than a broken nose. I kicked my heels off and stepped between Jellal and Simon. I didn't think about it, just reacted, because no matter how angry he was, Jellal would never hurt me.

Simon, for his part, seemed to realise that if he valued his life then leaving was probably for the best and scrambled out the kitchen door. Jellal stalked towards me. He was furious. I could see it blazing in his eyes as he carefully calculated how to get me out of his way. A million different moves went through my mind and I discarded them all in seconds. I knew instinctively that none of them would work. There was only one thing I could think to do. Well then, let's see him counter this.

He reached for me and I stepped effortlessly within his guard so my body pressed up against his, slid my hands up his chest and around his neck, pulled him down until our lips met. It wasn't a kiss. More like a crash collision. There were no pretty fireworks, only a roaring, burning, all consuming fire that flared instantly between us. He tasted bitter and angry and desperate. His right hand gripped the back of my neck. It was freezing cold from the ice treatment. I gasped and his tongue was in my mouth. Insistent, demanding. No question who was dominating this. His left hand raced up my leg, pulling me towards him. I took the hint. With a tiny jump I wrapped my legs around his waist. Even with the slit up one side of my dress I heard the fabric tear. He spun us around and my back slammed into the fridge. The impact knocked the cereal boxes over but I was in no position to care about the mess. He forced my head to the side and bit down hard on the side of my neck. I winced but only clung to him tighter. I could feel his need for me, raw and dangerous. No way was I going to complain if he left a few bruises on my skin.

Jellal tugged on the front of my dress and the clasp at the back of my neck gave way. Layers of purple silk glided down to pool around my waist, exposing my strapless lace bra. The back of his hand trailed down my chest, cold fingers making me flinch away from him. They persisted on their trail to hook into the centre of my bra. Jellal leaned back and looked me right in the eyes. The cold anger was still there, mingled with lust. I knew then that he was doing this to punish me for whatever it was he thought I had done to him. He ripped the black band off me. My breasts tumbled free. All I could do was gasp again. Everything was happening so fast. He was being deliberately rough and there was no way for me to control what was happening. I'd unleashed something within him and it was running away from both of us.

Jellal hoisted me higher and stepped to the side to rest me down on the marble countertop. The moment he didn't have to support my weight his hands were kneading my breasts, one still colder than the other, sending both shivers and sparks through me. His head moved lower till his mouth, warm and wet, sucked on the top of my chest, right where the soft curve of my breast started, leaving yet another bruising love bite. My hands tangled in his hair. I could hear my own raspy breaths as his tongue raced down to circle around one pink nipple. I arched into him even as my mind raced. _Should I let him do this?_ My entire body was longing for his touch, craving more, more, more. There was no denying I liked what he was doing but it still managed to feel slightly wrong.

His hands were on my thighs now, edging higher and higher, reaching for my panties. My resolved wavered. I had only wanted to distract him, not lose my virginity on the kitchen counter. Especially not when he was acting as though he hated me. I finally identified what was off about this moment. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I wanted to be like this with him but I always imagined our first time being filled with love and gentleness not the simmering rage I could feel from him. "Jellal-"

"Shut up!" He hissed, low and dark in my ear, "I'm so angry at you right now. Did you really think this would work? You thought I'd be happy to be just another notch in your bedpost?"

"What? No. I didn't do this to make you jealous." My mind struggled to keep up with him. Did he really think I'd staged the whole almost kiss thing with Simon? If that was the problem then we weren't even reading from different pages, we were reading entirely different books. "Jellal, please, you don't understand."

He grabbed my dress and yanked it back over my breasts. "You're right. I don't. I never thought you'd do something like this. I hurt you. I know that. But that was me genuinely not knowing how things were between us. But this... You did this on purpose with the sole intention of hurting me. You want to act like a whore, I'll treat you like one."

It was like he'd reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. It was so clear to me now. He'd fallen in love with me just in time to see what looked like me making out with another guy. I felt the tears well up. "No, Jellal. It wasn't like that. I never, I swear I never would want to hurt you. Please, I love you. I love you so much."

"You want to cry now? Go right ahead." He stepped away from me and used a magnet to stick a piece of paper onto the fridge. "You want to know who I love? The girl who wrote me that. Let me know if she ever stops being such a slut and decides to act like a decent woman again." He whirled away from me and stormed out of the kitchen.

I sat on the countertop, holding the tattered fragments of my dress over my chest. The floor was littered with defrosting peas, crushed cheerios and the broken pieces of my heart. My confession letter on the fridge silently accused me of betraying the greatest love I'd ever have.

Because when you loved the way we did, there really was no such thing as _'just a kiss'_.


	12. Cupid's Love Arrows

_A/N: These two obviously need some help..._

_I do not own Fairy Tail. _

_Chapter Twelve - Cupid's Love Arrows_

I left Erza crying on the kitchen counter. It had to be the hardest thing I'd ever done. My heart was aching. Both broken halves of it. I longed to turn around, take her in my arms and tell her that I forgave her. Then beg for her forgiveness for everything stupid I'd done. Starting with missing the signs that she had fallen in love with me, and I with her, and ending with what I'd just done to her in the kitchen. My behaviour was disgraceful. I'd never treated a woman like that in my entire life. I'd never been this angry with one before either.

How had this happened? Never in a million years would I have pegged my best friend as the kind of girl who would stoop this low. She wrote all those pretty words about finally feeling ready to sleep with me and then fell into bed with that fucking bastard so easily. Not to mention these other guys. I couldn't even think about that. Fuck my life. Even so, after everything she'd done, I was still in love with Erza. The passion I'd felt for her in the kitchen might have come out all wrong but it hadn't been faked. I could feel that heat for her burning even now. And everything wasn't wholly her fault. I was as much, if not more, to blame for the failures in the relationship we hadn't quite managed to get into.

Out in the lobby a flash of blue caught my eye on the way to the door. There, curled up on the window seat that overlooked the front of the dormitory, was Wendy. Ah damn. She was still clutching her phone. Poor sweet girl had probably sat here, waiting to see when somebody came home so she could call me back and tell me, but she'd fallen asleep instead. I checked my anger, slowed down to a walk and nudged her gently, "Wendy. Wendy, you can go back to bed now." She stirred slightly, yawned and then promptly fell back asleep. My lips twitched but I couldn't quite manage a smile. I was all torn up inside but Wendy had nothing to do with that and I couldn't just leave her here. "Come on," I pulled her up so she was sitting and teased the phone out of her grip. She woke up a bit and rubbed her eyes with one tiny fist, "Onii-san?"

"Put your arms around my neck." She obeyed automatically, still half asleep, and I lifted her easily.

"Onii-san, I fell asleep. Gomenasai."

"You've got nothing to be sorry about." Unlike me. My list of sins was growing longer by the minute.

Wendy snuggled against me as I carried her upstairs to her room. I left her phone on the bedside table, tucked her in and smoothed the hair off her face. She breathed slow and deep, sound asleep and dreaming. She looked so innocent, still too young to know what it was like to love someone to the point of pain. Good. I hoped she stayed innocent for a long time to come. I sat there for a few minutes, watching her sleep, a million thoughts spiralling through my mind.

I'd hurt Erza and she'd hurt me. I loved Erza and I guess, in some twisted way, her trying to make me jealous this way meant she still loved me. We were the epitome of love to the point of pain. My anger at what Erza had done simmered on but was already fading slightly, tempered by the fact that I never could stay mad at her for long and a growing sense of shame at my own actions.

I had no right to put my hands on her like that. For any reason. I wasn't her boyfriend. Erza could sleep with whoever she felt like. She owed me nothing. Everything was playing back through my mind and I was starting to feel physically sick at the horrifying memories. _What the hell had I just done? _I could've just talked to her. Explained I'd only read the letter tonight. Tried to convince her that she'd be so much happier dating me. And even if she had said no, I could have been a good friend, loving her from afar. But I'd fucked up. Big time. She must hate me. And she had every right to. The full consequences of my impulsive actions were catching up to me and I felt like the lowest kind of despicable monster.

Why was this happening to us? The words in Erza's confession were a promise that I would be the one. I could've been the one. But, for who knows what reason, we kept missing each other. Her letter had been so close to me for weeks and I hadn't found it till it was too late. Then when I'd tried to find her tonight, she had slipped through my fingers by a matter of minutes. This had to be fate. There was no other way to explain how everything could become so twisted. It wasn't meant to be. The love, the passion, whatever it was that was bursting to life between Erza and I was destined to fail. _Romeo & Juliet _indeed. We would never be together. And if the last few weeks were fate then tonight was divine retribution. Punishment for trying to push our relationship in a direction it wasn't supposed to go in.

I rested my elbows on my knees and dropped my head into my hands. Somehow the 'few minutes' sitting on the edge of Wendy's bed had stretched into nearly a quarter of an hour. At least I'd come to some conclusions, depressing though they may be. I would take some time away from Erza. A lot of time. Maybe the whole summer. Calm down. Get my head straight. Come to terms with things and then maybe we could rebuild our friendship. If she let me. I wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see me ever again. That intense ache was back in my chest. I better get used to it, I had a feeling it would be around for a long time to come.

I promised myself then, that if we could put these events behind us and move on, I'd never look at Erza as anything more than a friend again. Okay, that was lie. I would love her more than anyone but that was the problem. I loved her too much. It made me do stupid, irresponsible things. Sanity, common decency, chivalry. It had all disappeared in a heartbeat tonight. Never again. I couldn't stop loving Erza but I could at least protect her from this darkness I seemed to hold within. If she needed me, I'd be there for her but no way was I letting myself get too close. Nothing should taint her radiant light.

I sighed. My mind was made up but _what was I doing still sitting here?_ Loitering around the girls dorm like an unhappy spirit, that's what. I made sure to close Wendy's door very softly as I left. Outside of Erza's door, I paused and placed the two things I brought for her on the floor. It'd be the last thing I ever did for her in a romantic kind of way. She'd know what they meant. Back out in the lobby the grandfather clock softly chimed quarter to three. The kitchen light was still on and I hesitated for a moment.

_No_, I should just go. Everything was still too raw. I could apologise another time. One last longing look down the hall and I let myself out.

* * *

I let myself cry for maybe two minutes then I tied a knot in my broken dress straps to keep it up and started cleaning the kitchen. Broom, sweep, dustpan, bin. I didn't think of anything but that careful routine. I collected up the scattered peas that had rolled everywhere, returned the cereal boxes to their rightful place on top of the fridge. After that I wiped down the already spotless counters, put fresh water in the flower vase by the sink, unloaded the dishwasher, I even moped the floor. Before I knew it there was nothing left to do except face what I had been avoiding.

I crossed the damp floor and pulled my confession letter down off the fridge. No need to read it, every line was engraved in my mind, on my heart. I'd spent hours writing and re-writing it, making sure each line perfectly conveyed everything I felt in my heart for Jellal. He hadn't reacted to it the way I hoped he would so I'd tried to rush things, force him to see me how I wanted him to. It had taken me months to sort through my emotions, figure out that I loved him and work up the courage to confess. Had I really expected him to fall in love with me after one letter? Like it would be straightforward for him to change the way he saw me. From childhood friend to girlfriend as easy as flipping on a light switch. It wasn't that simple. I knew that but disappointed by his initial rejection I'd done the unthinkable.

I had tried to give up on us.

He'd said he was jealous. Kissed me like the world was ending. And I'd written both things off with hardly a thought for what they really meant. His feelings for me had probably been changing all this last month as he slowly got use to the idea. But stupid, selfish girl that I was, I'd been too caught up in dealing with my own emotions to even notice.

Slowly all the puzzle pieces were forming an ugly picture of the bitter truth. Of course Jellal was putting space between us. I'd chosen another guy as my prom date. Could I blame Jellal for thinking I'd changed my mind about us? Still, his eyes had been on me all night. Until I disappeared. On prom night. Alone with a guy. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he thought we'd been doing. The calls, the texts, even Simon acknowledged that Jellal had been desperately looking for me because he thought we were up to no good. I don't know what Jellal had heard on the phone after I dropped it, probably nothing more than a bunch of indistinct sounds, but that paired with seeing the almost kiss had been enough to convince him of the worst.

I replayed the fight with Jellal over and over in my head. _'How could you do this to me?' _he had yelled. Hurt and pain written all over his face. _Oh god_. He really did think I was a whore this time. Panic rushed through me. I had to set all this confusion and misunderstandings straight. No way could I leave things like this.

* * *

Outside the stars shone brightly and the moon was full, lighting my way. Not that I needed any light to identify the couple weaving their way up the hill towards me. Cana and Bacchus. Drunk as anything and singing some bawdy song. One day these two would be in Alcoholics Anonymous together for sure. I wasn't in the mood to deal with them so I tried to hurry past but Cana grabbed me anyway. As usual she was surprisingly lucid.

"Did you bring Erza home? None of us could find her."

"She came home with...someone else," I couldn't even say that bastard's name. My emotions were raw and I felt so drained. I really wasn't in the right frame of mind for polite conversation. I tried to shake Cana loose but she wobbled dangerously and I had to keep hold of her.

"Simon? Oh my god! He just tried to kill us, didn't he?" she addressed Bacchus.

"The guy cannot drive to save his soul. Definitely not a man," he said.

"Whatever. Can you two make it to the dorm?" It would only make me feel worse if they passed out before they got there. Plus I felt the need to atone for my earlier bad behaviour in any way I possibly could.

"Sure. We aren't drunk you know!" Cana pushed Bacchus ahead of her and made a shooing motion with her hand. He wandered off in vaguely the right direction.

"Jellal," she used my tie to tug me down so we were eye to eye, "Jellal, about the other day. I'm sorry I was mean to you. I want us to get along since you and Erza are dating now."

I tensed, "We're not dating."

"But you kissed her. I thought it was all but settled," she looked confused.

I suddenly felt like telling her everything. Cana was the only person I'd run into tonight who seemed to give a damn that my life was falling to pieces. Gray and Juvia were so wrapped up in lust for each other that they didn't care. Ditto for Gajeel and Levy albeit they were wrapped up in love which was bad enough. Natsu and Lucy had only made me feel worse with their stupid questions. "She slept with... With Simon."

Cana's face went completely blank and then she burst out laughing. I scowled back at her and, to give her credit, she did try to stop. "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard! How much have you had to drink tonight to believe that?"

"I'm not in the mood, Cana. She fucking did okay. I'm surprised you weren't one of the ones who put her up to it."

"Hey now, no need to get nasty. The only guy I've ever told Erza to jump is you, and look how that turned out."

She had a point there. "You really didn't know about this?"

"There's nothing to know about. Erza didn't sleep with Simon. I don't know where you got that idea but you're wrong." Her face was serious.

"I heard-"

"You heard wrong." She shifted her weight to one foot and put her hands on her hips. "Did you see them having sex?"

"No but-"

"Did she or he tell you they did?" she persisted.

"No. They said-"

"Did they say 'we had sex' in those exact words."

"No. The point is-"

"The point is," she interrupted me again in a way that was beginning to become annoying, "Erza has been holding onto her v-card and it damn well isn't because she's planning on joining a nunnery. She would never randomly fall into bed with Simon tonight or any other night. She's saving herself for you and she'll wait as long as it takes even if you are an idiot who took forever to figure out you're in love with her."

I was silent. Could I have heard wrong? No, that was just me being hopeful. But she'd been crying when he tried to kiss her goodnight so... she regretted it? They had both denied anything had happened. Maybe she wanted to pretend like it hadn't. Then... she didn't plan on me finding out about it at all. She wasn't going to flaunt it in my face to make me jealous. I wasn't even meant to be at the girls' dorm tonight so I should never have found out. Was she planning on lying to me about still being a virgin? Erza would never do that. Fuck this was confusing.

"Okay, I can practically hear your brain about to implode. Start at the beginning and tell me what happened. Jeez, I'm like you two's god damn cupid with all my letter delivering and advice and shit."

"You what?"

* * *

I rushed to the front of the dorm but Jellal was long gone. My phone! Where was my phone? I hadn't taken my clutch into the kitchen, that meant it was still outside on the porch where I must have dropped it. I flung the door open and fell to my knees, found my phone, dropped it, retrieved it, tried desperately to turn it on. No battery. Of course.

I ran up the stairs and fumbled with my keys at my door. Of all times to suddenly become clumsy! I finally got my door open and promptly tripped over something. Fate was so against me tonight. I ignored the pain in my knee and whatever it was that had tripped me. Grabbed my charger off my desk. My phone started slowly loading. _Oh dear god!_ I thrummed my fingers on the desk. Come on, come on, come on...

There was nothing I could do to make it start up any faster. The loading bar didn't even seem to be moving. "Hurry up!" I growled but it was taking its sweet time to do absolutely nothing while I went fucking crazy. After an eternity the screen finally came up. One missed call from Jellal. Four text messages.

Gray (1:12) _Hey, Jellal seems really down. You should call him._

Levy (1:15) _Where have you disappeared to? Jellal is upset about something and in a really bad mood. I think you should talk to him x_

Lucy (1:22) _Where are you? Something is wrong with Jellal. He's totally tripping. Did you two have another fight? Because he looks like the world just ended xoxo_

Natsu (1:24) I know y_ou told me not to get involved but... you've got Jellal so whipped it's embarrassing. You're both happiest together. Stop fighting already!_

Oh no. I'd hurt him so much and everyone had noticed. I dialled his number. It rang and rang. Voicemail. I tried again and again. After seven attempts it was time to face the facts.

He was ignoring me. He hated me.

I'd ruined everything.

* * *

The sound Cana's hand made when it connected with my face echoed through the silent night. I'd seen the slap coming. I could have moved to avoid it but of course I didn't. She pulled her hand back again, I saw the realisation that I wasn't going to stop her flicker across her face and she let her hand drop.

"How dare you? How dare you do that to her?" Cana was not yelling. Her voice was low, barely audible. Her shoulders trembled like her body was barely managing to contain all her rage.

I hadn't withheld a single detail of what had happened tonight. I hoped Cana would hit me again. I deserved it. "I'm not going to make any excuses to you or to her. What I will do is apologise to both her and Simon and then stay out of their way."

She hit me again. "Are you an idiot?" Cana grabbed a fistful of my shirt with her left hand, "Forget what you heard. Forget what you saw. Don't even think right now. Just look me in the eyes and tell me that you feel it here," Cana's right hand landed flat against my chest, right over my heart, "Tell me you feel it here that Erza would do something that idiotic. Tell me that you, who know her better than any of us, really think in your heart of hearts that Erza is... Is a..."

_Whore_. That particular word had a horrible way of hanging unspoken between people. It also had a way of flying out of my mouth when I knew it wasn't true.

Because it wasn't.

_I think you're misunderstanding something. It wasn't like that. _Her words. A misunderstanding like practically everything else that had been going on between us these last few weeks.

_I never thought you'd do something like this. _My words. Based on years of knowing Erza. I'd have to add memory loss and selective hearing to the list of things that had happened to me tonight. My stomach rolled. "I've ruined everything."

* * *

I crumpled to the floor. My relationship with Jellal was completely beyond saving. He didn't even want to talk to me. My shoulders shook and my chest heaved with the effort of trying to hold back my sobs. I clapped my hands over my mouth but I couldn't seem to stop tiny crying noises from escaping. The door to my bedroom was wedged open. Any second now someone would hear me and come find out what was wrong. I couldn't have that. All I wanted was to climb under my covers, curl up into a tiny ball and die. This had to be the biggest fuck up of my entire life.

On my hands and knees, I crawled across my carpet. Immediately wished I hadn't. Two things were keeping the door from closing and they would be my undoing. I dragged them both out of the way and let the door click close. It was obvious which item I'd tripped over. I gingerly picked up the crushed clear box. Inside rested a purple lisianthus and an ivory rose. A simple white ribbon bound the two together. I only had my small table light on but I knew the purple matched my prom dress perfectly. This was my corsage. The one Jellal had brought for me when he thought I would be his date for prom. Battered and bruised, it was still beautiful and classic. I loved it instantly, even if it only made me cry harder.

The second item was, on the surface, more mysterious. It was an opaque glass jar, the kind that jam normally came in. It rattled as I picked it up. I twisted the screw top off and tipped the contents gently into my hand. Buttons. Small ones, big ones. All different types and colours. A jar of buttons. But of course they weren't just any buttons. These had to be second top buttons, the ones closest to your heart. From the sheer number they had to have been ripped from every shirt, jacket and coat Jellal owned. In my confession letter I'd asked for one button on graduation day and instead he'd delivered them all to me a week early. That's how much he loved me. Or had loved me.

It was too much. Even I had a limit and he'd smashed right through it with these unbearable displays of affection. I couldn't take it. My life was unravelling at the seams and there was nothing I could do about it. I left the buttons scattered all over my bedroom floor and retreated to my bathroom. Turned the shower on full blast and got in, still wearing my clothes. I didn't care. All that mattered was that behind two closed doors and masked by the sound of the falling water, no one would hear me cry.

* * *

"Okay. You need to take that look off your face because I'm almost starting to feel sorry for you."

I barely registered Cana's words. This was the biggest fuck up of my life. Several times tonight I thought I'd hit rock bottom but with each new twist and turn I kept falling further and further. This pit I was tumbling down must lead straight to hell. In fact, this was probably it now. Surely things could not get any worse than this."I'm going."

"Where?"

To find a hole and crawl in it. "Home."

"Just like that. She's crying because of your stupidity and you're just going to leave."

Everything that was beautiful and perfect about my relationship with Erza was gone. Smashed to bits by my own hands. It felt like death."It's over."

"Fine then. Go. If this is all that she means to you then leave."

"What else can I do?"

"Why am I doing this?" It seemed like she was talking to herself so I didn't reply. "The facts are this," Cana said and used her fingers to count down the specifics, "You only read the letter tonight. Which I suppose is partially my fault. In any case, that gap when you didn't have a chance to read it explains a lot but Erza doesn't know that yet. You thought you heard her having sex with Simon. But as we both know, now that you've stopped being so god damn hysterical and actually thought about it, there is no way Erza would let anyone but you pop her cherry. Anyway that's now and this was then. You broke Simon's nose for something he didn't do, got revenge on an innocuous bag of peas which definitely did not deserve a beating, ripped my best friend's clothes off in a fit of passionate rage and called her a whore. For the second time in as many days. As of right now she's probably in our kitchen crying her little heart out. Of course she'll deny said tears to her dying breath. And now you're sulking off home feeling like an ass for the way you treated her. I assume you're thinking that you can rock up in a few days with strawberry cake or flowers and a whole lot of begging so that the two of you might be able to stay friends like two days ago. Is that about right?"

When Cana put it like that this whole situation seemed even more ridiculous. Obviously, not everything she said was right. No amount of strawberry cake would fix this. I had no illusions that Erza and I would stay friends after tonight. I was exhausted and sick of talking especially when the topic was impossibilities. The only thing I wanted was to go home and confirm once and for all if I really would die of this broken heart so I reluctantly nodded.

Cana's hand formed a fist and whacked me lightly, "You're both fucked as hell."

"Is that supposed to be helpful?"

"Nope, but this is." She grabbed my arm and started dragging me back up the hill.

I hesitated, "I really think Erza and I need some space."

"I think she needs a new love interest but since I already know that's not going to happen, I can't let you leave and fuck this up any more than you already have. Plus I already had to live with a miserable Juliet and a month of 'space'. You need to sort this out as soon as possible. Like tonight Romeo. It's dragged on too long as it is."

"What am I suppose to say? I don't even know where to start." I felt completely out of my depth.

"You're going to apologise for the whore thing straight away and for treating her like she's some kind of doxy. And for the record, you ever do something like that again and I will annihilate you." She pinched me and I had to bite my lip to hold back a yelp. "I'm not forgiving you because the whole 'oh my god the love of my life cheated on me and I can't take it so I'll go all psycho, jealous, almost boyfriend having a temporary mental breakdown' thing is not a passable excuse. Nothing is. But it's not up to me. Erza will decide what she wants to do. Whether she forgives you or not you're still going to make it up to her this week. With strawberry cake _and_ flowers _and_ whatever else she wants. Full proper grovelling. For tonight a heartfelt apology will have to be enough."

I nodded. It wouldn't work but I could at least do that.

"Next, you're going to clear up the misunderstanding with the letter and apologize for the month of torture you've put her through."

"Hold on. Should I be taking notes?" It seemed like this list of do's and don'ts was going to be quite long.

"Don't get smart with me Fernandes. I'm saving your future happiness here!"

My future happiness. Cana seemed so sure but I already knew exactly what my future held and it was anything but happy. "Okay, sorry. Apologize, remember to grovel later, apologize more, and then what?" If anyone had told me two days ago I'd be getting relationship advice from Cana I'd have died laughing but she was offering me a rope to climb out of this pit I'd dug for myself and I was literally hanging on her every word.

"For your own piece of mind, you will ask her what really happened with Simon and these mystery guys tonight. She'll explain that it was perfectly innocent and put your paranoid mind at ease by confirming that she's still as pure as snow."

"Got it. Innocent and pure. What do I say next?"

"Nothing. You're done talking."

"And then...?"

She sighed, "I don't know. It depends what she says but I strongly suggest that you shut up and just listen."

* * *

I slowly peeled my soaking wet prom dress off my skin. Ran a hand over my chest. Jellal's love bite was already forming into a dark purple bruise. I could only imagine what the side of my neck looked like. I shivered under the cold stream of water. A little bit of water torture as punishment for my catalogue of errors. My head was starting to ache so I laid it against the slick, cool tiles. I had cried a lifetime worth of tears in the past five minutes and come to a few conclusions. I would go to Jellal's house first thing tomorrow and explain everything. I would write a million letters. I would do whatever it took to make him understand that I wasn't an easy whore, that I was still the same girl he'd fallen in love with. I'd given up too soon before. I would not make that mistake again.

The tips of my fingers were turning blue. I stopped the shower and stepped out. Wrapped one towel around my body and deposited my ruined prom dress in the sink. I was towelling my hair dry when I heard it. A low buzzing. My phone vibrating against the desk. I was out the bathroom in a heartbeat. I didn't even check the caller id, just gasped out a panicked, "Hello?", hoping against hope that it was Jellal.

"Hey, I tried knocking but you didn't answer. Are you okay?"

Not Jellal. I felt a wave a sadness wash over me, "Cana, help me. I fucked up."

"_You_ did? Don't you mean _he_ did?"

"What?"

"I bumped into Jellal on the way here. He told me what happened."Cana's initial soft tone was still there but underneath it I could hear how angry she was.

"It was nothing," I said automatically.

"Oh really? Cause I found a dozen sparkly hair pins that belong to you on the front porch along with your abandoned clutch. Then I found one pair of heels in your size and a bra under the kitchen table that also most definitely belongs to you. I take it you have the ruined prom dress."

"It's not ruined. Well it wasn't before I got in the shower. Before that the clasp was bent out of shape, that's all. Cana, Jellal hates me and it hurts. It hurts so bad," my voice caught in my throat and it felt like my heart was trapped in a vice.

"Please don't start crying. You're killing me. That said, I'm getting the bizarre impression that you're not the least bit angry about all this."

"Angry? I don't care about a stupid dress. I just want him to understand. Jellal thinks I-"

"I know. He told me. I'm sure once you calm down, you'll feel angry about what happened. Maybe this was a bad idea..."

"Cana, what are you talking about?"

"Okay. So I thought you two should talk this thing out because you know, it's been dragging on for awhile and as it turns out he's misunderstood a lot more than you probably think. Then there's the whole issue with the misplaced letter and Mira's party which you don't understand. Basically, everything has been one big confused mess. Anyway, I told him to talk to you but I think maybe now is a bad time. You're not yourself."

"What misplaced letter? Jellal left that with me. It doesn't even matter. I tried ringing him but he won't answer. Cana, please help me. I have to get him back."

"Calm down. Are you even listening to half of what I'm saying? I knew you'd react this way. Is there anything this boy can do to make you hate him?"

"No." There was literally nothing I could think of that would make me stop loving Jellal.

Cana sighed, "Like I thought. You're both fucked as hell. Anyway, I rescued your bad boy Prince not so Charming and talked him down from the metaphorical cliff he was about to leap off. I've also managed to convince him you're not what he thought. Please tell me you didn't sleep with Simon tonight."

"No! I didn't but Jellal thinks-"

"I know! I'm getting to that. Where was I? Right, I helped him figure out that you haven't cashed in your v-card just yet. Slapped him, twice, so I guess that's once from me and once for you. I cajoled him, threatened him and literally dragged him back here. Signed, sealed and delivered, he's fucking yours courtesy of me waving my magic wand. And how do you repay me for my hard work and selfless deeds of devotion?"

Were we even speaking the same language? Too much had happened tonight. I didn't need any more confusion. "Cana, just say it!"

"You refuse to open the door! We were knocking and knocking. In the end I just left him there so I could try and call you without him hearing every word. The poor boy has been standing outside in the hallway for the last five minutes looking like hell but wanting to say the most pretty things he can think of to you, thanks to a little priming from me. Except there is no you. Look girl, I might have magicked a miserable pumpkin into a glittering carriage but that's not much good if you refuse to go to the ball."

Silence. I tried to process what she was saying to me using fairy tale references and lines out of old love songs. "Jellal's here?"

"Yes."

"Outside my door?"

"Yes. Isn't that what I've been saying? Love arrows aren't cheap. You've got to help me out here! If you want to see him, all you've got to do is open the damn door."

* * *

I had tried knocking gently. Tried apologizing. Tried telling her I still loved her. Either she was ignoring me or she was asleep. Forget that. She was definitely ignoring me. No way could she have fallen asleep so quickly after having a fight like that with me. I sat on the floor and leaned against her door to wait. Erza had to come out sometime. In the meantime I went over Cana's advice. Apologize, apologize more, ask about Simon and then...

The door opened and I tumbled backwards onto her floor. I noticed first that she'd been crying, her eyes still red. Right after that I felt an extra stirring of guilt about the bruise I'd left on her neck.

I had no right to ask but I did anyway.

"Can we talk?"


End file.
